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FMLs submitted from Oregon

Today, I got stuck in my apartment's garbage chute. FML

#8492121
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7667) - you deserved it (19845)

On 02/20/2010 at 8:53pm - misc - by AwwChute (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I got banned from my boyfriend's house for being an "insurance liability." FML

#8423454
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16011) - you deserved it (3459)

On 02/18/2010 at 10:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my roommate will fall asleep to Muppet Treasure Island. We sleep 3 feet away from each other and he has been doing this since Christmas. FML

#8400903
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15283) - you deserved it (1771)

On 02/18/2010 at 4:48am - misc - by Oze (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I got my new work schedule. I really need the hours. The boss says he can't give me more because the economy is bad. However, he did find enough hours to hire his son last week. This week? Most of my hours were erased and given to the new employee; his daughter. FML

#8116089
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21145) - you deserved it (1527)

On 02/11/2010 at 12:03am - work - by suuuucks (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was in class and noticed that it smelled strongly of cat urine. I smelled my shoulder and realized that my cat had peed on my sweater. I had six hours of classes left, and the smell had permeated my shirt. FML

#8094791
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19037) - you deserved it (5129)

On 02/10/2010 at 4:19pm - animals - by snickerdoodles (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, in art class, I tried to attract my crush's attention by slowly sitting down in front of him. Too bad I missed the chair and fell onto the floor. FML

#8038952
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7640) - you deserved it (27728)

On 02/09/2010 at 12:50am - love - by Unknown (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was having sex and wanted to move to the wall, so I picked her up, got my foot stuck in my blanket, and dropped her on the floor. FML

#7946141
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6696) - you deserved it (12493)

On 02/06/2010 at 7:17pm - intimacy - by Sully (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my girlfriend decided it would be a funny idea to spray me with a hose while I was holding a kitten, showing her how cute we were. Needless to say, now I'm covered head to toe in cat scratches. FML

#7870417
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19636) - you deserved it (2804)

On 02/04/2010 at 3:40am - health - by littlespoon (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was watching a horror movie with my girlfriend. Suddenly, the killer jumped on screen. My girlfriend screamed. I peed myself. FML

#7736774
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30870) - you deserved it (11995)

On 01/31/2010 at 5:16am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was potty training my nephew. He had been on the toilet for almost twenty minutes and could not go. My phone started ringing, and as I went to pick it up he knocked it into the toilet. He then peed and pooped on it. FML

#7642082
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25999) - you deserved it (3142)

On 01/28/2010 at 12:55pm - kids - by jmitch1209 (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I broke my dominant hand. My teacher insists we hand-write our essays. I called and asked if it was okay for me to type up the essays. She said no. I have two essays due tomorrow, which count for half my grade. FML

#7545695
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27611) - you deserved it (2893)

On 01/24/2010 at 2:29pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my boyfriend and I were trying to have sex for the first time. Not only did he struggle for five minutes to put on a condom (repeatedly snapping himself in the balls), but he then had to ask me "which hole" to put it in. I'm dating a thirty-four year old virgin. FML

#7467261
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20406) - you deserved it (4028)

On 01/21/2010 at 12:02am - intimacy - by Alicia (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I heard the sounds of women grunting in the living room. My husband knows I don't like him to watch porn, so I confronted him. He was masturbating to professional Women's tennis. FML

#7447854
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9750) - you deserved it (18549)

On 01/19/2010 at 10:46pm - intimacy - by sportyhusband (woman) - United States (Oregon)



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