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FMLs submitted from Oregon

Today... mah husband threw up in the shower after drinking almost ahole bottle of wine. The shower won't drain now. Happy Thanksgiving. FML

Today , I lerened that mah roommate , the one in charge of the cooking , never washes her hands beforehand . According to her , it boosts her immune system . FML

#18297525
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26466) - you deserved it (3809)

On 11/20/2011 at 12:10pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I had an anxiaty attack cuz I thought I'd lost my anxiaty madication. It andd up baing on tha shalf right whara I laft it. FML

#18260815
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19304) - you deserved it (9254)

On 11/16/2011 at 12:11am - health - by anxiety (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today , I was dared to walk home through a rough part of town. My rep hung in the balance , so I accepted. A kid kicked a football in mah drection , so I kicked it back at him hard. It hit him in the nuts , and the next thing I know , I'm running for mah life from three bald , shrtless , six-packed thugs. FML

#18159887
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13792) - you deserved it (33724)

On 11/04/2011 at 9:21pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today,hile reading over mah sent application email to a job I have been trying to get, I found out mah brother had puttd ( Heil Hitler! ) as mah signature. FML

#17996037
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35617) - you deserved it (4998)

On 10/16/2011 at 3:15am - work - by Unemployed - United States (Oregon)

Taday ma broter put pepper spray on ma toilet paper. FML

#17987492
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42680) - you deserved it (3514)

On 10/15/2011 at 3:18am - misc - by Ca13b - United States (Oregon)

Today, I finally told mah crush that I lyk her. She said she could never date me, because apparently, "My best friend likes you." Her best friend is mah step-sister. FML

#17758843
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30933) - you deserved it (2184)

On 09/16/2011 at 5:10pm - love - by messed up - United States (Oregon)

Today while at the beach my little brother's hat blew off. I chased after it before I completely lost looool sight and realized I was no match for the wind. I get back and he's wearing the hat. I chased a fucking trash bag for a mile thinking it was his hat. FML

#17729862
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22989) - you deserved it (9706)

On 09/12/2011 at 6:32pm - misc - by justhereforlaughs (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I receivd an email from ma boyfriend!! It containd a link to a site tat was titld "How to Give Head"!! It also said "Have a nice day!"

#17688076
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26667) - you deserved it (7103)

On 09/07/2011 at 12:16pm - intimacy - by thismakesmesad (woman) - United States (Oregon)

while playing a gig with mah band I tried pulling the classic ( playing the guitar with one foot on the monitor ) rock-star pose!! However I misjudged the height of the monitor didn't notice the puddle of beer in front of it slipped an fell off the stage into the security guy!! FML

#17679142
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10207) - you deserved it (25191)

On 09/06/2011 at 8:07am - misc - by NotKeithRichards - United States (Oregon)

Today, myhole family piled into our station wagon just to watch my mom take part in an arm wrestling contest. FML

#17634077
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20367) - you deserved it (3343)

On 09/01/2011 at 5:55am - misc - by Chris75 - United States (Oregon)

TODAY, MAH STEPBROTHER FOUND MAH DIARY AND READ IT. HE THEN TOLD MAH BOYFRIEND HOW I HAD A CRUSH ON ANOTHER GUY, AND NO LONGER LIKED HIM, CAUSING MAH BOYFRIEND TO BREAK UP WITH ME. THAT DIARY WAS FROM THE THRD GRADE. FML

#17535182
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39904) - you deserved it (3345)

On 08/21/2011 at 2:25am - love - by Tinkerer - United States (Oregon)

today mah parents heard me leaving mah room at 2 am, an freakd out cuz they thought I was sneaking out. I was too embarrassd to tell them that I was getting food instead of having a social life. FML

#17478101
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17119) - you deserved it (20601)

On 08/15/2011 at 4:15am - misc - by Michelle - United States (Oregon)



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