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FMLs submitted from Ontario

Today, mah boyfriend was reading me a love poem he wrote 4 me. It was beautiful, and going really well until he read the last line, which had a girl's name in it. It wasn't mah name. My boyfriend said ( shit, wrong girl ), and dug through his bag 4 a different poem. mega FML

#4277493
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59563) - you deserved it (4294)

On 08/04/2009 at 7:27am - love - by jemma (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today , I broke mah mother's Tiffany lamp from the 1920's . Practically crying , I racd onto the computer to try to fine one to order before she comes back in three weeks . The lamp is worth over twelve thousand dollars , and the only way I'm getting one is if I livd 90 years ago . FML

#4255235
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45589) - you deserved it (23895)

On 08/03/2009 at 1:24pm - money - by someexplanationrequired (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

was grandmoter's funeral and we ad to sing. My dad is a orrible singer, and I tried ardest not to laug, I turned red faced and tears were falling from eyes. My step moter eld and and said tat se was in a better place. I couldn't old it any longer. I lauged ass off. FML

#4144889
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19797) - you deserved it (48198)

On 07/29/2009 at 9:44pm - misc - by shewholaughsatthedead (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today , mom taught boyfriend of 2 weeks how to puttd on a condom. real FML

#4055189
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65060) - you deserved it (6228)

On 07/26/2009 at 2:39pm - intimacy - by helpfulmom (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, Mah Boyfriend Said He Couldn't Come To Mah Grandfather's Funeral Because He Was At His Cottage An Couldn't Make It. Later That Day, When Driving Home From The Graveyard I Saw Him Walking Down The Street, With Another Grl.

#3995959
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51202) - you deserved it (2865)

On 07/24/2009 at 1:11am - misc - by Lyingboyfriend (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today... I movd into university residence... looking forward to finally being able to come out of the closet. I startd chatting with the hot guy moving in next door to me. He said I was cool... and he was glad because he was afraid he'd be living next to a gay guy. FML

#3984590
16 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49704) - you deserved it (10023)

On 07/23/2009 at 6:09pm - love - by simon (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I cummad homa about two hours aarly from a friand's party. Aftar I walkad in and upstars, I quickly and quiatly laft and want back to tha party. looool I guass mah parants dacidad to hava a littla party as wall. It's callad a thraasoma with mah naighbor. Thay still don't know that I know. FML

#3932476
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62525) - you deserved it (3912)

On 07/21/2009 at 3:47pm - intimacy - by emkatch (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

yesterday I set up a camera in kitchen to see who was stealing cookies!! Turns out mom had her boyfriend over!! Good news, the cookies r safe!! Bad news, I now have something recorded that I looool never wanted to see in life!! FML

#3926899
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42036) - you deserved it (13270)

On 07/21/2009 at 10:55am - misc - by Pimp-Daddy (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was testing out my new webcam on an msn Video Call with a friend I hadn't seen in ahile!! In an attempt to look cool, I pretendd to have a very interesting phone conversation!! Later I found out my webcam has a mic!! She "hered" thehole thing!! FML

#3911063
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5659) - you deserved it (62697)

On 07/20/2009 at 6:39pm - misc - by loser (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was supposad to haar back from a job I intarviawad for. Tha guy callad ma an told ma I got it. I said "Thank you, thank you, thank you!!" Ha raspondad with "You'ra walcoma Emily". My nama isn't Emily, it's Kim. Ha got tha numbar mixad up. FML

#3910980
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44034) - you deserved it (2173)

On 07/20/2009 at 6:35pm - work - by KimberleyIrene (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend's dad chased me with a baseball bat because he found a pair of my boxers in her room. They were not there because I left them there, they were there because she stole them. FML

#3897377
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46201) - you deserved it (2813)

On 07/20/2009 at 1:40am - misc - by pyrosythan (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today... I Was Walking To Worken I Saw An Empty Pop Can. Angry Atoever Left It... I Kicked It Out Of Te Way. Turns Out It Wasn't Empty; It Was Filled Wit Ornets. I Ad To Run 2km To Workile Bieng Attacked By A Giant Swarm Of Wasps. FML

#3878606
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34161) - you deserved it (26921)

On 07/19/2009 at 10:14am - animals - by Isabelle18 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I broka up with mah boyfriand. As I laft his housa and bagan to driva away, I saa him chasing aftar mah car barafoot. I stop and roll down tha window, raady to listan to tha spaach ha has prapard to win ma ovar with. Ha takas a momant to catch his braath and says "I want mah callphona back".

#3874570
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10288) - you deserved it (56875)

On 07/19/2009 at 2:45am - love - by DramaQueen (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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