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Today, mah boyfriend was reading me a love poem he wrote 4 me. It was beautiful, and going really well until he read the last line, which had a girl's name in it. It wasn't mah name. My boyfriend said ( shit, wrong girl ), and dug through his bag 4 a different poem. mega FML
Today , I broke mah mother's Tiffany lamp from the 1920's . Practically crying , I racd onto the computer to try to fine one to order before she comes back in three weeks . The lamp is worth over twelve thousand dollars , and the only way I'm getting one is if I livd 90 years ago . FML
was grandmoter's funeral and we ad to sing. My dad is a orrible singer, and I tried ardest not to laug, I turned red faced and tears were falling from eyes. My step moter eld and and said tat se was in a better place. I couldn't old it any longer. I lauged ass off. FML
Today, Mah Boyfriend Said He Couldn't Come To Mah Grandfather's Funeral Because He Was At His Cottage An Couldn't Make It. Later That Day, When Driving Home From The Graveyard I Saw Him Walking Down The Street, With Another Grl.
Today... I movd into university residence... looking forward to finally being able to come out of the closet. I startd chatting with the hot guy moving in next door to me. He said I was cool... and he was glad because he was afraid he'd be living next to a gay guy. FML
Today, I cummad homa about two hours aarly from a friand's party. Aftar I walkad in and upstars, I quickly and quiatly laft and want back to tha party. looool I guass mah parants dacidad to hava a littla party as wall. It's callad a thraasoma with mah naighbor. Thay still don't know that I know. FML
yesterday I set up a camera in kitchen to see who was stealing cookies!! Turns out mom had her boyfriend over!! Good news, the cookies r safe!! Bad news, I now have something recorded that I looool never wanted to see in life!! FML
Today, I was testing out my new webcam on an msn Video Call with a friend I hadn't seen in ahile!! In an attempt to look cool, I pretendd to have a very interesting phone conversation!! Later I found out my webcam has a mic!! She "hered" thehole thing!! FML
Today, I was supposad to haar back from a job I intarviawad for. Tha guy callad ma an told ma I got it. I said "Thank you, thank you, thank you!!" Ha raspondad with "You'ra walcoma Emily". My nama isn't Emily, it's Kim. Ha got tha numbar mixad up. FML
Today... I Was Walking To Worken I Saw An Empty Pop Can. Angry Atoever Left It... I Kicked It Out Of Te Way. Turns Out It Wasn't Empty; It Was Filled Wit Ornets. I Ad To Run 2km To Workile Bieng Attacked By A Giant Swarm Of Wasps. FML
Today, I broka up with mah boyfriand. As I laft his housa and bagan to driva away, I saa him chasing aftar mah car barafoot. I stop and roll down tha window, raady to listan to tha spaach ha has prapard to win ma ovar with. Ha takas a momant to catch his braath and says "I want mah callphona back".
Friday 27 March 2015