Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from Ontario

Today, after spending $15,000 to treat my dog's cancer over the past two months, he died of kidney failure. FML

#4784383
338 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53774) - you deserved it (18203)

On 08/24/2009 at 1:33pm - misc - by w-dog (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I made a very pretty sunflower cake that I woke up incredibly early to make. It took me hours and a lot of money. It was for my grandparents anniversary and my whole family was invited. We only got to see the remains because the waiter gave it to the wrong family, and they ate it. FML

#4764898
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42202) - you deserved it (1945)

On 08/23/2009 at 7:10pm - misc - by sunflowercake (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out that the crumbs on the couch that look like the oreos you just ate, can actually turn out to be very crunchy, and have legs. FML

#4738686
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9984) - you deserved it (41609)

On 08/22/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got a report telling me how I had handled a mystery shopper at work. In this report I found out that instead of saying "Thank you" I had said "Have a nice day, take care." This kept me from getting my $150 bonus. FML

#4724946
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41727) - you deserved it (2499)

On 08/22/2009 at 12:43am - work - by elipses (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to the doctor to inquire about the rash I've been getting in my underarms, behind my knees and sometimes on my face. Turns out I'm allergic to sweat. I'm a varsity rugby coach, gym teacher, and I just shelled out a stack of cash to get a sauna and steam room installed in my house. FML

#4712230
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42384) - you deserved it (3855)

On 08/21/2009 at 4:17pm - health - by FilthyIke (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend threw me a going-away party. During the party, I caught him in my bedroom hooking up with my friend because "you're leaving soon anyway so it doesn't matter." I'll only be gone for 6 weeks. FML

#4694053
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40719) - you deserved it (2795)

On 08/20/2009 at 10:06pm - intimacy - by lonelyinlondon (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to give the girl I am absolutely in love with advice on how to have better sex with her boyfriend. FML

#4673075
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59957) - you deserved it (10377)

On 08/20/2009 at 1:38am - intimacy - by shitforchris (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I brought my little sons into work with me. I introduced them to my boss. She said to my shy kids, "You boys don't know me, do you? I'm Janice." The older one lit up and said, "Oh, I know you, mommy complains about you all the time." FML

#4664067
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38854) - you deserved it (15232)

On 08/19/2009 at 8:01pm - work - by SweetFA (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was told I have bipolar disorder. I'm 31. It took so long to diagnose because my mom always figured I was "just a super bitch half the time." FML

#4654835
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42162) - you deserved it (4664)

On 08/19/2009 at 12:40pm - health - by crazychick (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at work while washing the dishes I was told to go put some things into the big freezer at the back of the store. While doing so, the door closed behind me, so naturally I pushed it, only to have my wet hands freeze to the door. I yelled to my manager for 10 minutes before help came. FML

#4650145
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38906) - you deserved it (5121)

On 08/19/2009 at 4:44am - work - by ohno. (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to get a pedicure for the first time. My feet are VERY ticklish. I reflexively kicked the poor lady in the face, as I wet my pants. FML

#4624191
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44657) - you deserved it (16003)

On 08/18/2009 at 8:35am - misc - by peepeepants (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boss called me into his office. He then fired me. Upset, I asked him "Well, who's gonna replace me?" His answer was "I don't know and don't care. Everyone who works here hates you. Now go away." FML

#4605529
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41558) - you deserved it (23354)

On 08/17/2009 at 5:16pm - work - by vmml97 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I ran into a guy that I had gone on a few dates with 3 months ago and slept with him a few times, but then never heard from him again. When he looked at me, I went over and gave him a hug and said "Hey, how are you, Chris?". He hugged me back and said "Hey there cutie, what's your name?". FML

#4603777
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43801) - you deserved it (16941)

On 08/17/2009 at 4:02pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)



Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML
  • Madonna must be the only person breathing a sigh of relief right now thanks to all the idiots arguing about the colour of a dress. Thanks to a badly-lit photograph, everyone seems to have forgotten that she super…

Friday 27 February 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: