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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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FMLs submitted from Ontario

Today, my self-esteem hit rock bottom when I was intimidated by a 10-year-old. I'm 23. FML

#21301556
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27163) - you deserved it (5733)

On 11/18/2014 at 6:43pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, it was the fourth time I've had major dental work done, because my dentist messed up my root canal. After almost a dozen needles, three missed work days, over $1,000, and 2 broken tools, I only have a tiny, barely-successful filling to show for it. FML

#21301373
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31503) - you deserved it (3045)

On 11/18/2014 at 12:45pm - health - by hatemydentist - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was stopped behind a pickup truck filled with junk. I told my friend that the person should have secured the junk better, since it looked like it would fall off any minute. My friend assured me it wouldn't. Right after she said that, a large piece of plywood fell off and hit my windshield. FML

#21300434
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28925) - you deserved it (3283)

On 11/16/2014 at 11:17pm - misc - by pickuptruckblues - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I left my dog alone while I went to work, like usual. He usually hangs out in the big bay window that faces the street. Today he decided to steal my vibrator and chew it while sitting in the window. I can only imagine how many people walked by and saw it. FML

#21295699
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32110) - you deserved it (6745)

On 11/09/2014 at 8:12pm - animals - by dogdays (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after moving to a new neighbourhood, I went to meet my new neighbour. When she opened the door, all she said was, "Oh not you again!", and shut the door in my face. I have no memory of her. FML

Today, I excitedly told my mom that I'm pregnant with my second child. She shot back, "You know what's a REAL achievement? Jacking your dad off in church last week without anyone noticing. Aim higher." I really didn't need to know that. FML

#21294899
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41596) - you deserved it (3801)

On 11/08/2014 at 6:02pm - kids - by jennabee97 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend kept jiggling my fat rolls while we were cuddling. I was annoyed, and I told him he could at least go for my boobs instead. He instantly replied, "But these are bigger..." FML

#21293369
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37185) - you deserved it (8443)

On 11/06/2014 at 12:14pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I strained so hard while on the toilet that I gave myself a nosebleed. FML

#21286665
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28880) - you deserved it (5060)

On 10/27/2014 at 11:00pm - health - by Discipl (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my little sister decided it would be funny to hide in the washroom closet while I was taking a piss. I wasn't pissing, I was wanking. FML

#21281971
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37382) - you deserved it (11320)

On 10/20/2014 at 8:29pm - intimacy - by John (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, as a limo driver, I had to drive 8 guys for a night-out from their wives. I put the Michigan/Rutgers game on the radio, thinking they would appreciate that. Apparently, they wanted to listen to their "pump-up" songs instead, which were mostly Katy Perry songs. FML

#21271972
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37557) - you deserved it (4805)

On 10/06/2014 at 11:05am - work - by theseguysarewhipped... - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my little sister had her second son. She is 31 and she named her sons after her favorite television characters, Sam and Dean Winchester. She has made it her life goal to make sure her husband never finds out. FML

#21269654
255 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30344) - you deserved it (3845)

On 10/02/2014 at 4:29pm - kids - by mykodu - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I realized the sweet, sensitive girl I was talking to on a dating site was actually my brother trolling me for fun. FML

#21266998
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40163) - you deserved it (5631)

On 09/28/2014 at 1:12pm - love - by jquaw - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I saw my boyfriend wiping his nose with his hand and then using the snot to gel back his hair. FML

#21263839
107 comments


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