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FMLs submitted from Ontario

Today, my wife made me a Sex Rewards Chart, where I get points by doing chores and such, and 50 points gets me some action. She refuses to even look at me if I haven't earned the points, and is contemplating sleeping alone in the guest room until I earn more points. FML

#20983710
402 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53126) - you deserved it (15702)

On 12/07/2013 at 9:55am - intimacy - by feiedbutter - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my friend's dog got hit by a car. I was the only one not in shock, and had to drag the poor thing off the road, then comfort a hysterical friend while the driver verbally abused us and demanded we pay for the repairs to his car. FML

Today, I found out that if you accidentally step on your boss's dog's tail, yes, you can get fired. But not because you stepped on the dog's tail. You didn't say sorry. FML

#20979207
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25165) - you deserved it (35884)

On 12/03/2013 at 9:04am - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out that since there are 3 people with the same name as me at work, I'm known as "the ugly one". FML

#20973400
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42532) - you deserved it (3085)

On 11/28/2013 at 6:41am - work - by anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend got on one knee and started talking about how we met. Knowing what was coming, I started tearing up, absolutely sure he was going to propose. Just as I was about to say yes, he quickly stood up and yelled "HAH, JUST KIDDING". FML

#20967193
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56685) - you deserved it (5215)

On 11/22/2013 at 7:16pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, the guy I like shoved me out of the way so he could talk to another girl. FML

#20964674
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45821) - you deserved it (4077)

On 11/20/2013 at 4:06pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, working in a department store, I spent at least 30 minutes helping a verbally abusive elderly woman in a wheelchair find an appropriate jacket for winter. She finally asked me to retrieve one she wanted in her size. When I returned she was in deep sleep, snoring and all. FML

#20963001
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33356) - you deserved it (2501)

On 11/19/2013 at 12:51am - work - by Not impressed. - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got into a fight with a lawn chair. It won. FML

#20961117
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27308) - you deserved it (9926)

On 11/17/2013 at 5:07pm - misc - by what_a_loner - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was lying beside my 5-year-old son to help him get to sleep. He turned his head and asked, "Daddy, why do you suck so much?" FML

#20959118
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43519) - you deserved it (4178)

On 11/15/2013 at 8:53pm - kids - by I don't know, son (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, in the lunch line at school, a kid literally ordered a "hamburger with extra swag." FML

#20950369
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41435) - you deserved it (3054)

On 11/08/2013 at 3:12pm - work - by thank god you'll only live once (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my husband's version of roleplaying was pretending that he actually wanted to have sex with me. FML

#20950083
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13) - you deserved it (0)

On 11/08/2013 at 9:00am - intimacy - by xomelodygervais (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, because I'm tall enough to see over the cubicle walls at work, I witnessed my 50-year-old co-worker pulling his finger out of his nose and immediately popping it into his mouth. FML

#20947682
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34089) - you deserved it (3879)

On 11/06/2013 at 12:27pm - work - by Wraith (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, the package I've waited for months for finally arrived. It turned out it wasn't for me, but for my sister, who bought the same thing only 2 weeks ago. When I called, the company told me they received my payment, but that there were no more of the item in stock. FML

#20946407
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39703) - you deserved it (2366)

On 11/05/2013 at 12:34pm - misc - by GDubeau24 - Canada (Ontario)



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