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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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FMLs submitted from Ontario

Today, my husband ruined the laundry once again. He forgot to empty his pants pockets before washing them. Last time he left an ink pen in them. This time it was a strawberry. FML

#21432612
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23561) - you deserved it (2158)

On 06/27/2015 at 12:17am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was at my lifeguarding exam. Everything was going well until I went to 'save' someone and slipped and bellyflopped into the pool. I broke my toe, and the person I was supposed to save ended up saving me instead. FML

#21432224
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26246) - you deserved it (2622)

On 06/26/2015 at 9:09am - misc - by mytoehurts - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I walked in on a raccoon viciously tearing apart a giant bag of dog food, not five feet away from my sleeping dog. FML

#21431556
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23891) - you deserved it (1801)

On 06/25/2015 at 1:30am - animals - by wtfkasey - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to call a parent and tell them that their special needs daughter is pregnant. FML

#21430924
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32924) - you deserved it (1954)

On 06/23/2015 at 11:16pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my dad has apparently decided that it's too much of a bother to put clothes on when he gets out of bed. He's been walking around in his tighty-whiteys for hours now. FML

#21425446
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22528) - you deserved it (2266)

On 06/13/2015 at 1:10pm - misc - by pantsareathing (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I arrived at the salon to get my hair done for prom. The lady at the front desk insisted I didn't have an appointment. After looking back on my recent calls, it turned out I called the wrong number and whatever asshole was on the other line played along. FML

#21424643
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28102) - you deserved it (3791)

On 06/11/2015 at 7:14pm - misc - by Badhairday - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was told by my manager to make sure the supervisor on shift does his job. Last month I was told I couldn't be a supervisor. Apparently I can supervise someone who earns more than I do though. FML

#21424106
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23854) - you deserved it (1402)

On 06/10/2015 at 7:45pm - work - by cocoapuffs4life - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after handing over the cash to buy my sister's car off her, she refused to sign any of the paperwork, and later put an ad on Craigslist selling the same car. I got scammed by my own sister. FML

Today, I'm warning you: never spoon naked with your girlfriend after eating taco bell. The shartpocalypse just might begin in her ass and end on your stomach. FML

#21420039
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30219) - you deserved it (4304)

On 06/03/2015 at 1:01am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, it's been so long since I had sex that even in my sex dreams I'm watching porn alone. FML

Today, I had to explain to my little sister that not all guitars are supposed to have a hole in them, that when I was talking about "breaking it in" I didn't mean I'd smash a hole in it, and that she shouldn't have taken a hammer to my expensive new guitar. FML

#21417642
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27273) - you deserved it (2636)

On 05/29/2015 at 3:18pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend threatened to break up with me because I crossed the street without holding her hand. FML

#21417560
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28964) - you deserved it (3705)

On 05/29/2015 at 11:05am - love - by GlueAndCarrots - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was on the train going to work when my travel tea cup began spilling inside my purse, which was on my lap. It went all over my skirt, pooled at the bottom of my feet, and, yes, everyone notice that it happened to be piss-colored yellow. FML

#21417508
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26071) - you deserved it (4295)

On 05/29/2015 at 8:13am - misc - by Great (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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