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FMLs submitted from Ontario

Today, I went on a first date. He left me standing at a bus stop while he took a dump in some bushes. FML

#20922179
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48244) - you deserved it (4379)

On 10/15/2013 at 11:10pm - love - by highlydisgusted - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after almost 2 days, I finally fell asleep, during my husband's vows, on our wedding day, in front of 250 guests. FML

#20917263
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46354) - you deserved it (10594)

On 10/12/2013 at 3:23am - love - by angryinlaws (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got into a fistfight with a complete idiot wearing a panda outfit. My face now looks like a real panda's. FML

#20916733
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30432) - you deserved it (16060)

On 10/11/2013 at 6:00pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I started to come to during dental surgery. I clearly heard someone behind me say "Shit! Get this fucker back under!" then another person mentioning they'd have to kill me to avoid "another lawsuit", followed by laughter and the blackness of sleep. FML

#20909921
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59224) - you deserved it (3546)

On 10/06/2013 at 5:49pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my brother finally paid me the $60 he owed me. I later found out that he'd stolen those $60 from my wallet. FML

#20906200
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45308) - you deserved it (3592)

On 10/03/2013 at 5:40pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my grandmother convinced me to come to a church meeting with her. My grandmother then made funny faces at me while the pastor was speaking, causing me to laugh out loud. Everyone heard me, including the pastor. FML

#20905574
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34603) - you deserved it (5038)

On 10/03/2013 at 1:24am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend walked in on me taking a dump, and started plucking her eyebrows. When I told her I was uncomfortable, she said, "Aww, is my baby's poo shy? Is it, is it?" and pinched my cheek. FML

#20900665
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41389) - you deserved it (6922)

On 09/29/2013 at 3:21pm - misc - by noweddingforyou (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, a drunk man walked into my house at 2pm, screaming out, "Honey, I'm home!" He had the wrong house, but it looks like I've finally met my new neighbour. FML

#20895601
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36808) - you deserved it (3115)

On 09/25/2013 at 12:35pm - misc - by nicetomeetyou2 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out that the vacation my mom has been planning to "repair our relationship" was just an opportunity to change her Facebook profile picture. FML

#20895309
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34823) - you deserved it (2495)

On 09/25/2013 at 3:19am - misc - by clarakipper (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend made bacon sandwiches for lunch. I didn't want to be rude, but I couldn't help but mention that the bacon smelled and tasted weird. I thought it may have expired. She said not to worry because she used the dry bacon under the counter. Those were dog treats. FML

#20894470
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47892) - you deserved it (4296)

On 09/24/2013 at 3:08pm - misc - by Undercooked (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my online order arrived earlier than I expected. I opened it to find some kind of anal sex toy. Whoever this is for is going to be disappointed when they get my 3DS game. FML

#20894309
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39762) - you deserved it (2744)

On 09/24/2013 at 12:16pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I started my new job at a restaurant I really like. As I waited on my first customer, I suggested that he try the apple pie, because it's my favourite. He looked up at me and said, "Yeah? Figures! Lay off 'em, porky!" FML

#20891546
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45278) - you deserved it (5727)

On 09/22/2013 at 2:00pm - work - by -_- (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I walked in on my daughter shaving the testicles of her boyfriend, who had apparently snuck in through her window. FML

#20888905
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53456) - you deserved it (5406)

On 09/20/2013 at 12:30pm - intimacy - by disappointed (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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