FMLs submitted from Ontario

Today, after months of correcting him, I got so used to my boss calling me "Alex" that I didn't respond to my own name several times today. FML

Today, I took out my old hairdryer and turned it on. I then gave my roommate a show as I ran out of the bathroom, naked and screaming, after a spider was blasted out of the hairdryer and directly at my face. FML

by lateralligator / 12/12/2014 at 11:35am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went on a date with a girl who had to cut our date short so she could go on another one. FML

by Anonomous / 12/08/2014 at 12:58pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I bought my cat a fun toy at the one of a kind craft show. It has catnip in it, which he loves. He flipped out, so I took it away. He won't stop trying to break into the cupboard I put it in. My cat has a drug problem. FML

by allykat / 12/02/2014 at 7:56pm / Canada (Ontario) / Animals

Today, I discovered that catching fewer mice in the traps I'd put out doesn't mean my pest problem is getting resolved. It means that rats have moved in. FML

by ratqueen / 11/25/2014 at 10:28am / Canada (Ontario) / Animals

Today, the Salvation Army stationed one of their obnoxious bell-ringers in the mall right outside my store. My employees and I can wave goodbye to any form of sanity for the next month. FML

by Anonymous / 11/23/2014 at 5:03am / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, I was selling winter-themed cookies at my university. I cheerfully asked a girl if she would like to buy cookies to support peer tutoring. Her response? "I don't eat food." FML

by UTRejected / 11/21/2014 at 8:51am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend said "You're a real work of art. You know, the abstract kind that no one likes. Anyway, we need to break up." FML

by Anonymous / 11/19/2014 at 12:40pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, my self-esteem hit rock bottom when I was intimidated by a 10-year-old. I'm 23. FML

by Anonymous / 11/18/2014 at 6:43pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, it was the fourth time I've had major dental work done, because my dentist messed up my root canal. After almost a dozen needles, three missed work days, over $1,000, and 2 broken tools, I only have a tiny, barely-successful filling to show for it. FML

by hatemydentist / 11/18/2014 at 12:45pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, I was stopped behind a pickup truck filled with junk. I told my friend that the person should have secured the junk better, since it looked like it would fall off any minute. My friend assured me it wouldn't. Right after she said that, a large piece of plywood fell off and hit my windshield. FML

by pickuptruckblues / 11/16/2014 at 11:17pm / Canada (Ontario) / Transportation

Today, I left my dog alone while I went to work, like usual. He usually hangs out in the big bay window that faces the street. Today he decided to steal my vibrator and chew it while sitting in the window. I can only imagine how many people walked by and saw it. FML

by dogdays / 11/09/2014 at 8:12pm / Canada (Ontario) / Animals

Today, after moving to a new neighbourhood, I went to meet my new neighbour. When she opened the door, all she said was, "Oh not you again!", and shut the door in my face. I have no memory of her. FML