FMLs submitted from Ontario

Today, I got trapped in my building's elevator for over an hour, with my dog who I had been rushing outside with because he had explosive diarrhea. FML

by Crappy / 04/11/2015 at 8:12am / Canada (Ontario) / Animals

Today, I had to get stitches in my vagina due to an unfortunate mishap while climbing a fence. FML

by burnswhenipee / 04/07/2015 at 8:47pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, I ripped my stitches while taking a shit. FML

by stitchesgirl12 / 04/07/2015 at 12:03pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I am seven months pregnant with my third child. I woke up to my two-and-a-half year old trying to "pop the balloon" in my tummy. FML

by mokki / 03/31/2015 at 8:56am / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, my 8-year-old son told me to grow a pair and man up. FML

by Anonymous / 03/29/2015 at 11:17am / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, I caught my dad sneaking a drink of whiskey outside, shortly before my wedding. I asked if he was seriously getting drunk at a time like this. He looked at me and scoffed, "It's the only way I'm gonna get through this stupid shit." FML

by Anonymous / 03/25/2015 at 3:40pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I was playing with my 3-year-old nephew when he suddenly got up and ran to his mom to tell her I was "touching in bad spots". I was tickling his armpits. FML

by anon / 03/22/2015 at 10:24pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, I was playing Dance Dance Revolution in an arcade when a woman came up and asked me if playing it was my job. I laughed but then realized that it is actually the closest thing I have to a job. FML

by DDRFreak / 03/19/2015 at 5:49pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. I thought everything went well, until I got a text from him later saying, "Come on mom, she isn't THAT bad." FML

by anon / 03/16/2015 at 12:10am / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I googled for an hour how to open my CD player on my laptop. Turns out, there is none. They just put a space there to make it look like a CD player. FML

by Blonde / 03/10/2015 at 11:03pm / Canada (Ontario) / Geek

Today, I sent a picture to my best friend of the shoes I want to wear to prom. She replied, "Wow those are so unique". I guess she forgot that last week she told me she only uses the word unique when she hates something. FML

by uglyshoegirl / 03/08/2015 at 5:49pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to sit and smile as a drunk lady ranted about how body hair on a woman is disgusting and unfeminine, then in the next breath say that only pedos like women who shave their vaginas. That's the last time I ever have dinner with my boyfriend's parents. FML

by Anonymous / 03/06/2015 at 11:51am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got into an accident. As I was talking to a police officer about what happened, the tow truck driver managed to take my car and drive away, leaving me with no phone or wallet. I just spent an hour walking home in a hail storm. FML

by neverforgetyourphone / 03/04/2015 at 8:18pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous