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FMLs submitted from Ontario

Today, I woke up in my living room after having a party. I then realized my fish tank with many different species was missing from its usual spot. After searching for a few minutes, I finally found it in the freezer. FML

#21415477
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20410) - you deserved it (5595)

On 05/25/2015 at 12:10pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my friends made a little game out of my OCD. They like to purposely poke one of my arms so I immediately poke the other one. They think it's hilarious and now do it constantly. FML

#21414073
85 comments

Today, I had the most excitement I have felt in the last two months when I went to a drugstore and they had my favourite bandaids. FML

#21410948
68 comments

Today, my overly-clean mum decided to drop by and surprise me by cleaning my house while I was out jogging. She used half a bottle of bleach, and now it hurts to blink, let alone breathe. FML

#21410694
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26858) - you deserved it (2486)

On 05/15/2015 at 8:51pm - misc - by pasha - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my dad drove me to the airport. As I got out of the car, he said, "You better pop that zit on your face, security might think it's a bomb". FML

#21406694
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30481) - you deserved it (2789)

On 05/08/2015 at 9:44am - misc - by brittrus - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I changed my toothbrush because the bristles were wearing down. My brother later asked me why I changed his toothbrush. Apparently we've been sharing the same one for the past several weeks. FML

#21403442
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29925) - you deserved it (3594)

On 05/02/2015 at 2:39pm - misc - by gross - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mother was trying to have yet another "helpful" conversation about how to fix my anxiety. My sister's insightful comment? "I think your problem is that you need to get laid." My mom agreed with her. FML

#21401985
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28878) - you deserved it (3239)

On 04/29/2015 at 8:46pm - intimacy - by sexandanxiety (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, less than a month from our wedding, my fiancé told me that he doesn't trust me and will be cancelling our wedding and new apartment lease if I don't give him all the names, numbers and addresses of my exes. All because I received a text from a wrong number that said, "Hey baby." FML

#21400981
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32022) - you deserved it (3359)

On 04/28/2015 at 1:32am - love - by Groomzilla? - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out that, given the correct velocity, a used condom can actually fly through a tiny window and slap you on the leg. I also found out that when you go to the window to yell at the perpetrator, they might have more ammunition. FML

Today, I received a terrible grade for an essay I worked really hard on. I had two friends, one being an English major, check it over. However, apparently I "clearly didn't use spellcheck" on this essay just like the last one I submitted to her. FML

#21394988
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23938) - you deserved it (4972)

On 04/16/2015 at 11:34pm - work - by shaifox96 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while cleaning my desk I found a stray gumball. I quickly popped it into my mouth only to discover with horror that it was a paintball. FML

#21394264
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16544) - you deserved it (32501)

On 04/15/2015 at 6:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I thought my dad was finally showing interest in the business I started last year when he asked about my next event. Nope, he just wanted to know if I would hire his step-granddaughter. Her first question: "So, I won't have to do any like, real work right?" Gee, thanks Dad. FML

#21393221
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26208) - you deserved it (1898)

On 04/13/2015 at 9:50pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got trapped in my building's elevator for over an hour, with my dog who I had been rushing outside with because he had explosive diarrhea. FML

#21391716
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33744) - you deserved it (2495)

On 04/11/2015 at 8:12am - animals - by Crappy - Canada (Ontario)



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