FMLs submitted from Oklahoma

Today, I got my hands on some meet and greet passes for a concert. My fiancé and I got our picture taken with the band. A few moments later, in my excitement, instead of texting the picture to my friend, I accidentally deleted it. FML

by vixiecat / 02/15/2012 at 2:33pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was talking to a friend about how many germs live on the average cell phone. My five year old son apparently overheard me talking, and decided to give my cell phone a bath. FML

by Katherine / 02/13/2012 at 4:23pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Kids

Today, I put my boyfriend's t-shirt on and took sexy pictures with nothing else but panties. I then sent him the pictures. His reply was, "Can you wash that when you're done?" FML

by jodibut / 02/06/2012 at 11:18am / United States (Oklahoma) / Intimacy

Today, it was my first time having sex with this guy. After a few second he stops, sits in the corner of his room buff-naked, with his knees up and his hands on his face. He then pouts and claims it was his worst performance ever. FML

by crybaby / 02/01/2012 at 3:19am / United States (Oklahoma) / Intimacy

Today, I took my car to a drive-through car wash. It wasn't until after my back seat was filled with foam and I had been squirted in the face that I realized my back seat window was rolled down. FML

by Anonymous / 01/15/2012 at 4:44am / United States (Oklahoma) / Transportation

Today, I found out that the neighbor I'd given a bottle of wine to for Christmas is a recovering alcoholic. FML

by thechimpchapter / 12/31/2011 at 1:48am / United States (Oklahoma) / Miscellaneous

Today, while having sex, I told my boyfriend that I love him. I could feel him go soft inside me. FML

by KrissyBearr / 12/30/2011 at 8:36pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend and I were at dinner with his parents when he discreetly slid his hand up my skirt and tickled me. This caused me to kick his dad's recently broken leg. FML

by maddie / 12/27/2011 at 12:26am / United States (Oklahoma) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went outside for a cigarette since I don't like smoking in the house. When I was done, I stomped it out. I wasn't wearing shoes. FML

by Anonymous / 11/19/2011 at 7:21pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to the bank to make a deposit. While I was waiting on my transaction, the bank tellers were making fun of me. I could tell cause I heard them through the speaker. FML

by Anonymous / 11/02/2011 at 11:58pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went over to my friend's house. We were teasing each other, when she stood up and began to jokingly walk away. Trying to be cute, I tried to pull her onto my knee. I miscalculated and she ended up sitting right on my boner. FML

by Anonymous / 10/28/2011 at 7:39pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Intimacy

Today, I had to break up a fistfight between my wife and mother. Apparently, my mom heard that I finally got the great paying job of my dreams, and told my wife I'd finally kick her "useless ass to the curb." We have to spend the holidays together. FML

by Anonymous / 10/23/2011 at 5:16pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend of 6 months started a bitter fight with me. The cause was me repeatedly refusing to dye my hair the way his beloved ex did. FML

by Anonymous / 10/08/2011 at 8:24pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Love