FMLs submitted from Oklahoma

Today, I took my car to a drive-through car wash. It wasn't until after my back seat was filled with foam and I had been squirted in the face that I realized my back seat window was rolled down. FML

by Anonymous / 01/15/2012 at 4:44am / United States (Oklahoma) / Transportation

Today, I found out that the neighbor I'd given a bottle of wine to for Christmas is a recovering alcoholic. FML

by thechimpchapter / 12/31/2011 at 1:48am / United States (Oklahoma) / Miscellaneous

Today, while having sex, I told my boyfriend that I love him. I could feel him go soft inside me. FML

by KrissyBearr / 12/30/2011 at 8:36pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend and I were at dinner with his parents when he discreetly slid his hand up my skirt and tickled me. This caused me to kick his dad's recently broken leg. FML

by maddie / 12/27/2011 at 12:26am / United States (Oklahoma) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went outside for a cigarette since I don't like smoking in the house. When I was done, I stomped it out. I wasn't wearing shoes. FML

by Anonymous / 11/19/2011 at 7:21pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to the bank to make a deposit. While I was waiting on my transaction, the bank tellers were making fun of me. I could tell cause I heard them through the speaker. FML

by Anonymous / 11/02/2011 at 11:58pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went over to my friend's house. We were teasing each other, when she stood up and began to jokingly walk away. Trying to be cute, I tried to pull her onto my knee. I miscalculated and she ended up sitting right on my boner. FML

by Anonymous / 10/28/2011 at 7:39pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Intimacy

Today, I had to break up a fistfight between my wife and mother. Apparently, my mom heard that I finally got the great paying job of my dreams, and told my wife I'd finally kick her "useless ass to the curb." We have to spend the holidays together. FML

by Anonymous / 10/23/2011 at 5:16pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend of 6 months started a bitter fight with me. The cause was me repeatedly refusing to dye my hair the way his beloved ex did. FML

by Anonymous / 10/08/2011 at 8:24pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Love

Today, I got suspended for bringing a "hazardous weapon" to school. They were earrings. FML

by christine brown / 08/26/2011 at 8:03am / United States (Oklahoma) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had a cop pull me over because he claimed that he saw me taking a bunch of colorful pills at the previous stop sign. I was eating skittles. FML

by candymansvan17 / 08/17/2011 at 5:50pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom showed up completely hammered to a party I was throwing. The party was to celebrate the ten years that I've been sober. FML

by Jillian Drute / 08/16/2011 at 12:54am / United States (Oklahoma) / Health

Today, I woke up at my girlfriend's house. She was staring at me, holding a knife over my face. She ran away, giggling. FML

by bTOhno / 08/13/2011 at 2:37am / United States (Oklahoma) / Love