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FMLs submitted from Oklahoma

Today, my mom decided to give me relationship advice. She told me the key to a happy/successful relationship was "letting your man explore ALL your orifices." FML

#130109
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43082) - you deserved it (3584)

On 02/25/2009 at 12:35am - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I went to a fastfood restaurant to pick up food for my work party. I ordered 250 chicken fingers, 15 orders of fries, and 2 gallons of tea, and the guy behind the counter asked, "Is this for here or to go?" FML

Today, my friends and I go to a bar and get wasted. I walk around and see a kid. I start yelling, "There's a child in this bar! There's a CHILD in this BAR!" She turns around. She was a midget. FML

#10978
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8067) - you deserved it (48206)

On 02/05/2009 at 7:55pm - misc - by frenchy (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I got in line at the grocery store. The woman in front of me looked right at me, turned to her friend, and said "That reminds me, I forgot to get acne cream." FML

#8528
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33356) - you deserved it (2248)

On 02/04/2009 at 5:23pm - misc - by 918boyz (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, the only girl I'm friends with deleted my comment off of her profile because she was too embarrassed that people would see we were friends. FML

#6514
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35348) - you deserved it (2912)

On 02/03/2009 at 3:27pm - misc - by sh33zy (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I was at a party and spent the whole night bragging to my friends about how I thought this girl was totally into me. As we were leaving, we saw the same girl making out with my ex. FML

#2760
18 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8106) - you deserved it (19767)

On 01/27/2009 at 1:33am - love - by dlova - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my brother's girlfriend dumped him. I overheard my mom tell him "It could be worse. Your brother can't even get a girlfriend". FML

#1919
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23966) - you deserved it (1665)

On 01/20/2009 at 3:41pm - love - by Taylor - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, the guy I've secretly been in love with for years told me how hot my brother is. FML

#1465
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25994) - you deserved it (2433)

On 01/17/2009 at 2:49pm - love - by Shantoya - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my mom asked me for advice on how to give a good blow job. I'm a guy. FML

#1389
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33953) - you deserved it (2449)

On 01/16/2009 at 3:46pm - intimacy - by Ohai - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my girlfriend tried to clean out the fireplace with a vacuum cleaner, she sucked up a bunch of embers which set the vacuum on fire. After a crying for a bit, she went back to finish cleaning up only to find that some embers she dumped in a bucket melted through and set part of the carpet on fire. FML

#645
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19375) - you deserved it (3188)

On 12/31/2008 at 9:53pm - misc - by blck - United States (Oklahoma)



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