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FMLs submitted from Oklahoma

Today, I used a tanning bed for the first time ever, in an attempt to get a base tan for the summer. No one bothered to warn me that you shouldn't go the full ten minutes your first time. Now my skin is as red as my hair. FML

#21413860
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18341) - you deserved it (20374)

On 05/22/2015 at 3:36am - health - by missko519 (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my boyfriend stopped in the middle of sex to ask if I wanted to get donuts. FML

#21411735
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31130) - you deserved it (4915)

On 05/17/2015 at 10:54pm - intimacy - by fuckingdonuts - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I found out my wife confided in a coworker that she wants to sleep with him, because our marriage is loveless and sexless. News to me. FML

#21410043
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33682) - you deserved it (3330)

On 05/14/2015 at 2:59pm - intimacy - by semokco (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes. My mom's reaction was, I shit you not, to tell me to "walk it off". FML

#21403286
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30404) - you deserved it (2536)

On 05/02/2015 at 5:59am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I started having chest pains and shortness of breath. I thought I was having a heart attack and I asked my husband to take me to the hospital. He told me to wait because he'd just ordered a pizza. FML

#21387949
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32842) - you deserved it (3097)

On 04/05/2015 at 8:27am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I went running. I live in a small town and people know me fairly well. It was dark when I went to avoid the heat. I was almost finished with my run when the cop comes up and asks me what I'm running from. Clearly being fat and out of shape is not a good enough alibi. FML

#21372790
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31662) - you deserved it (2442)

On 03/11/2015 at 9:50pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, while begging my wife for sex for once, she told me she didn't have time. I said it wouldn't take long. She said "I know." FML

#21341633
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35426) - you deserved it (11076)

On 01/21/2015 at 2:06pm - intimacy - by cuckolddreams - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my Canadian friend is staying a few days at my parents' house. I drove him from the airport, only to find my idiot dad had decked the spare room out with maple syrup bottles. He keeps saying "eh" all the time and asked "What's he so upset aboot?" when my friend was offended. FML

#21316775
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33300) - you deserved it (3230)

On 12/13/2014 at 1:36pm - misc - by ehxtraordinarily pissed (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I confronted my boyfriend after he received a text with a bunch of hearts on it. After arguing, turns out it was from me. FML

#21316114
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15571) - you deserved it (39830)

On 12/12/2014 at 9:39am - misc - by well, now what - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I am 11 weeks pregnant and my husband has taken great glee in the fact that his horrible gas is enough to trigger my morning sickness. We're about to go on a long 12 hour drive. FML

#21302111
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33159) - you deserved it (2980)

On 11/19/2014 at 2:04pm - misc - by honeybunny - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I didn't make dinner fast enough so somebody had a yelling and screaming temper tantrum. It would be understandable if the person who threw the tantrum was a child, and not my 57-year-old father. FML

#21283737
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32638) - you deserved it (2785)

On 10/23/2014 at 11:56am - misc - by mnote (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my boss discovered that I'm prone to random fainting, due to hypoglycemia. He has now nicknamed me "fainting goat" and makes relentless bleating noises every time he sees me. FML

#21275948
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33396) - you deserved it (2975)

On 10/12/2014 at 12:04am - work - by thecaptainmorgan - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my roommate decided that because she has an oral report due, she's going to scream at the top of her lungs until she loses her voice to get out of it. It's been two hours and she refuses to stop. FML

#21252777
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40949) - you deserved it (2716)

On 09/06/2014 at 12:25am - misc - by why me? - United States (Oklahoma)



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