FMLs submitted from Ohio

Today, I overheard my co-workers talking about how they don't need flu shots because everyone else gets them. These people are in the medical industry. FML

by Silbax1 / 10/27/2014 at 11:40am / United States (Ohio) / Work

Today, I was passing notes in class with my crush. I started to pour my heart out and tell him about how I've liked him for years. I was caught by the teacher. He looked at it, laughed, and tore it up. He then looked at me and said, "I just saved you from years of embarrassment. You're welcome." FML

by Rachel / 10/23/2014 at 12:04am / United States (Ohio) / Love

Today, I never really thought that my boyfriend and brother having the same name was too weird. Until I called out his name during climax. FML

by Anonymous / 10/16/2014 at 9:10pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, this girl I've been talking to texted me, saying she was going to visit. Trying to be sweet, I bought her $50 worth of chocolate and a cute card. Turns out she meant to send that text to her ex. Seems like the only thing I'll get from this relationship is diabetes. FML

by Anonymous / 10/05/2014 at 1:29pm / United States (Ohio) / Love

Today, the day before my wife and I leave for our 1 year anniversary trip, I realized my passport expires in 2014, not 2015. Instead of a week's stay at an all-inclusive resort in the Dominican Republic, we'll be spending three days in Louisville. Three angry days in Louisville. FML

by dumass / 09/26/2014 at 10:23pm / United States (Ohio) / Love

Today, I overcame my debilitating seasickness long enough to have a shower and take a breath of fresh air on the cruise ship balcony. Then as a reward, a passing seagull shat on my head. FML

by nomfuck / 09/09/2014 at 11:53am / United States (Ohio) / Health

Today, my boyfriend and I were having a conversation about the lack of communication in our relationship. I told him that sometimes I feel like he doesn't really care about me at all. If he did, he would listen more. His response? "I know your name, don't I?" FML

by Iamthatgirl / 08/27/2014 at 12:56am / United States (Ohio) / Love

Today, I was playing Mario Kart with my wife. I threw a blue shell and it hit her. She then refused to speak to me for three hours straight until right before bedtime when she called me a bastard and told me to sleep on the couch. FML

by Anonymous / 08/25/2014 at 1:44am / United States (Ohio) / Geek

Today, I asked my husband to tell me something nice about myself. He thought for a few moments, then said, "Uh, you shit quietly." FML

by ugh thanks / 08/17/2014 at 12:40pm / United States (Ohio) / Love

Today, after having multiple dreams where I have a daughter with my boyfriend, I'm now emotionally attached to a child who isn't real, and I get depressed when I can't be with her in real life. FML

by Anonymous / 08/14/2014 at 3:50pm / United States (Ohio) / Love

Today, I realized my dog looks at me with way more love in his eyes than my own boyfriend does. FML

by hopeless romantic / 08/14/2014 at 11:06am / United States (Ohio) / Animals

Today, my psychotic step-dad asked me if I'm doing drugs. I replied with a massive amount of sarcasm: "Yeah, all of 'em. Especially meth." He flipped out, searched my room top to bottom, then grounded me "for good" until I tell him where I hid the supposed drugs. FML

by Anonymous / 08/09/2014 at 1:32pm / United States (Ohio) / Kids

Today, my idiot son tried to get a veteran's discount at American Eagle because he's "a fifth prestige" on Call of Duty. FML

by Anonymous / 08/09/2014 at 9:31am / United States (Ohio) / Kids