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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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FMLs submitted from Ohio

Today, I realized that I can't shave my unibrow because I have too much acne on my forehead. FML

#5583286
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50970) - you deserved it (9533)

On 10/01/2009 at 11:49am - health - by ugh (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I had a meeting at work. My boss was going around saying that she tries to give time off to the other managers so they can spend time with their family and significant others. She looked at me and said she doesn't for me because I have no one special to spend time with. FML

#5577587
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31572) - you deserved it (2510)

On 10/01/2009 at 12:05am - work - by bm128902 (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was babysitting my boss' kids. I brought chocolate for them and the youngest said he had never had chocolate and didn't want any. I told him he should always try new things and should eat it. He did. He's allergic. FML

#5564554
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13516) - you deserved it (38255)

On 09/30/2009 at 11:39am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, was my bachelor party. The only people that showed up were my best man and my father. FML

#5485912
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38963) - you deserved it (3245)

On 09/26/2009 at 2:15pm - misc - by bachelor (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I invited over my girlfriend of two years to spend my birthday night with her. Instead of a conventional wrapped birthday present, she gave me the news that she has taken a vow of chastity. FML

#5464653
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35171) - you deserved it (6721)

On 09/25/2009 at 10:54am - love - by BirthdayBoy - United States (Ohio)

Today, I received an envelope from verizon. I assumed it was my bill. I opened it and saw a visa credit card offer so I quickly snapped it in half to prevent identity theft. Only after playing with the pieces for 10 minutes did I realize that it was my $100 rebate from my new phone. FML

#5463734
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6941) - you deserved it (57261)

On 09/25/2009 at 8:54am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I discovered that I had lost my phone. I drove to the campus to try and find it, and parked in a gated lot where you pay when you leave. All the buildings were closed, so I had to go home. That's when I realized that I didn't have my wallet to get my car out. And no phone to call a ride. FML

#5460740
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26832) - you deserved it (7072)

On 09/25/2009 at 1:20am - misc - by Moe (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I found a video camera behind a plant in my bedroom. My husband uses it to video tape himself having sex, with another woman. FML

#5429475
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34229) - you deserved it (2143)

On 09/23/2009 at 3:32pm - intimacy - by ugh (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was at my friends house for the first time in months. I saw her newest chihuahua dog, Mickey, and he was excited that new people were over. I picked him up and slightly bounced him in the air. Because of the bounce and his excitement, he peed a little bit, straight into my eye. FML

#5422462
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15759) - you deserved it (30379)

On 09/23/2009 at 1:55am - animals - by GreatAim - United States (Ohio)

Today, I had my 3 year old son in the doctors office. During the exam, he informed the doctor that he doesn't sleep in mommy's bed anymore because mommy sleeps in her underwear and farts all night long. FML

#5349169
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38683) - you deserved it (8123)

On 09/19/2009 at 10:37am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was driving my new car home when I came around a sharp turn to see a groundhog in the road. I kindly stopped and allowed it to cross when all of the sudden a car slammed into the back of mine. Then, another car went flying around us. That car hit and killed the groundhog. FML

#5168963
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40041) - you deserved it (11761)

On 09/10/2009 at 2:46pm - misc - by hatecolin (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my girlfriend of 3 years told me that I was part of an experiment for her Sociology doctorate. I also learned that the notebooks she's been writing in for the past three years aren't for her "doctorate in literature" as she had told me, they were notes on my behavior for the past 3 years. FML

#5166110
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49226) - you deserved it (3122)

On 09/10/2009 at 9:37am - love - by Dave (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I switched from a pediatrician to an adult doctor. The guy was really persistant about a few personal questions. Then he brought my parents in the room and told them that I have an abnormally small penis and what remedies he knows of to fix it. FML

#5130583
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53965) - you deserved it (3625)

On 09/08/2009 at 5:17pm - misc - by dude5028 - United States (Ohio)



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