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FMLs submitted from Ohio

Today... I woke up to realize that the guy who took my virginity last night also took my flat screen TV. FML

#7135131
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24804) - you deserved it (8815)

On 01/03/2010 at 10:41pm - intimacy - by december2009 (woman) - United States (Ohio)

today I was sitting at the bar of a popular local restaurant. I sat there for a few hours and drank my sorrows away with the bartender. I thought she was pretty , and decided to give her a large tip. The tip sent me over my credit card limit , and the bartender is not single. FML

#7117686
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6806) - you deserved it (30431)

On 01/03/2010 at 1:36am - misc - by halien1982 (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my girlfriend told me it was her fantasy to orgasm at midnight on New Years. We got started at 11:53. I didn't looool last until midnight. real FML

#7080938
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13008) - you deserved it (20078)

On 01/01/2010 at 12:01pm - intimacy - by FavreFan99 (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I Was With My Boyfriend Of Two Months, Hoping This Would Be Our Night Of The Frst Kiss. I Was So Excitedhen The Ball Started To Drop. When It Hit "0", I Turned To Him, Hoping Fir A Kiss, And Saw Him Making Out With Another Grl. He Didn't Even Turn Around. FML

#7070397
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36775) - you deserved it (6892)

On 01/01/2010 at 12:12am - love - by ItSucks (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was told to sovel four inces of snow from ma driveway. I ad to get te snow sovel from te rafters of ma garage, an tere were oter tools wit it. As I was yanking te sovel down, a pickax fell an smased troug te back window of ma dad's Buick. FML

#7016410
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22989) - you deserved it (5235)

On 12/29/2009 at 3:26pm - misc - by Charlie8u347 (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was talking to the guy that has been in love with me for two years. He said "There is a shortage of perfect breasts in the world. It would be a shame to loose yours." He then creepily looked at me and said "It's true." Thanks, Princess Bride, for supplying creepers with material. real FML

#6998674
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22643) - you deserved it (4117)

On 12/28/2009 at 7:50pm - love - by creeped (woman) - United States (Ohio)

I Was At The Local Theatre Watching ( The Nutcracker ) Ballet With Mah Mother. When The Prince Made His Appereance In His Tights Mah Mother Leans Over To Me And Says, ( Those Are Some Well Defined Butt Cheeks! ) Loud Enough 4 Everyone Around Us To Hear. FML

#6823422
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22269) - you deserved it (2803)

On 12/19/2009 at 2:29am - misc - by Tights2Tight - United States (Ohio)

Today, mah sister and I got into a fight. I came home to find everything in mah room covered in ketchup. FML

#6812101
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25743) - you deserved it (4316)

On 12/18/2009 at 3:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today , I ad a job interview at te bowling alley. Te manager was busy an askd if I could wait. Let's just say I've never bowld before , an I wantd to know ow deep te ole was on te bowling ball. Te interview endd wit im spitting on ma finger , trying to get it out. FML

#6739900
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5845) - you deserved it (28367)

On 12/13/2009 at 4:31pm - work - by bowler (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, while taking a shower, I saw shadows moving across the curtains. The shadow turned out to be a cricket that then fell into the tub. I ran out of the bathroom screaming an naked. My little sister came to my door an said, ( If I hadn't just seen yur balls, I would swear mom had TWO daughters. ) FML

#6712676
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12233) - you deserved it (37738)

On 12/11/2009 at 8:03pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today..!! I got a call from mah grlfriend of 13 months!! She told me that she had gotten chlamydia from the guy she cheated on me with..!! and that I most likely have it too!! I gave her a diamond ring..!! she gave me chlamydia!! mega FML

#6694429
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28879) - you deserved it (2520)

On 12/10/2009 at 2:00pm - intimacy - by Godi (man) - United States (Ohio)

Yesterday , I was going into an office building. There was a boy an a man ahead of me , an the boy held the door open 4 me. Surprised , I said "What a nice young man," an he said. "It's ok , ma'am; mah dad says to always hold the doors open 4 old ladies." I'm 43. FML

#6681968
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24386) - you deserved it (5640)

On 12/09/2009 at 4:05pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today , boyfriend asked me why I chose to date him . After going on 4 five minutes about how unique and funny looool he is , I ask him the same question . His reply? ( You were the first person to ask me out . ) He then rolled over and fell asleep . FML

#6648301
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26332) - you deserved it (3594)

On 12/07/2009 at 9:43am - misc - by Fluory (woman) - United States (Ohio)



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