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FMLs submitted from Ohio

Today, I had a dream where I was cuddling with a girl. She rolled over to face me, snuggled up into the crook of my neck, then muttered in disgust, "Ugh, your breath stinks!" Cock-blocked in my own dreams. FML

#21296653
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31691) - you deserved it (3944)

On 11/11/2014 at 12:05am - misc - by mouthwash - United States (Ohio)

Today, I took a video of a fellow employee doing nothing but watching YouTube videos at work. When I showed the video to my boss, hoping he'd be reprimanded, I got fired for operating video equipment on company grounds. FML

#21293428
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26574) - you deserved it (33500)

On 11/06/2014 at 2:09pm - work - by NoJobNovember - United States (Ohio)

Today, my girlfriend came over to my place unannounced. She slapped me in the face, said, "You son of a bitch." and stormed off. I have no idea what that was for. FML

#21289746
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35024) - you deserved it (4732)

On 11/01/2014 at 2:23pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was getting a pedicure to cheer myself up. I've been so lonely, I got overly excited when someone sat next to me, because I got to pretend I had a friend. FML

#21286908
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31921) - you deserved it (3886)

On 10/28/2014 at 10:07am - misc - by bottombarrel - United States (Ohio)

Today, I overheard my co-workers talking about how they don't need flu shots because everyone else gets them. These people are in the medical industry. FML

#21286250
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32436) - you deserved it (3211)

On 10/27/2014 at 11:40am - work - by Silbax1 (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was passing notes in class with my crush. I started to pour my heart out and tell him about how I've liked him for years. I was caught by the teacher. He looked at it, laughed, and tore it up. He then looked at me and said, "I just saved you from years of embarrassment. You're welcome." FML

#21283544
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39624) - you deserved it (10611)

On 10/23/2014 at 12:04am - love - by Rachel - United States (Ohio)

Today, I never really thought that my boyfriend and brother having the same name was too weird. Until I called out his name during climax. FML

#21279374
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37431) - you deserved it (4680)

On 10/16/2014 at 9:10pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, this girl I've been talking to texted me, saying she was going to visit. Trying to be sweet, I bought her $50 worth of chocolate and a cute card. Turns out she meant to send that text to her ex. Seems like the only thing I'll get from this relationship is diabetes. FML

#21271233
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33506) - you deserved it (4901)

On 10/05/2014 at 1:29pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, the day before my wife and I leave for our 1 year anniversary trip, I realized my passport expires in 2014, not 2015. Instead of a week's stay at an all-inclusive resort in the Dominican Republic, we'll be spending three days in Louisville. Three angry days in Louisville. FML

#21266059
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30284) - you deserved it (18174)

On 09/26/2014 at 10:23pm - love - by dumass - United States (Ohio)

Today, I overcame my debilitating seasickness long enough to have a shower and take a breath of fresh air on the cruise ship balcony. Then as a reward, a passing seagull shat on my head. FML

#21255023
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33598) - you deserved it (2906)

On 09/09/2014 at 11:53am - health - by nomfuck - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having a conversation about the lack of communication in our relationship. I told him that sometimes I feel like he doesn't really care about me at all. If he did, he would listen more. His response? "I know your name, don't I?" FML

#21246190
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39186) - you deserved it (5503)

On 08/27/2014 at 12:56am - love - by Iamthatgirl (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was playing Mario Kart with my wife. I threw a blue shell and it hit her. She then refused to speak to me for three hours straight until right before bedtime when she called me a bastard and told me to sleep on the couch. FML

#21244858
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44986) - you deserved it (8017)

On 08/25/2014 at 1:44am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I asked my husband to tell me something nice about myself. He thought for a few moments, then said, "Uh, you shit quietly." FML

#21239720
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34319) - you deserved it (5696)

On 08/17/2014 at 12:40pm - love - by ugh thanks - United States (Ohio)



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