FMLs submitted from Ohio

Today, I waited for the single bathroom for a very long time. I finally knocked on the door and found no one was in there. FML

by SBae / 03/14/2016 at 11:49am / United States (Ohio) / Health

Today, my vegan step-mom found out I ate at McDonald's yesterday. She gave me hell and asked me how it feels to give money to "murderers". All while my dad sat quietly by because he's too whipped to speak his mind. It wasn't even her house a month ago. FML

by Anonymous / 03/04/2016 at 3:22pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, after weeks of my brother being laid off from work, I was able to fenagle him an interview for one of the entry level positions at my work. He got the job, only to refuse it because it doesn't pay enough. I thought 9 dollars an hour was a lot more than 0 dollars an hour. FML.

by WretchedOwls / 03/03/2016 at 6:59pm / United States (Ohio) / Work

Today, I helped my mom put away my baby sister's clothes. She's only a week old and has around 60 outfits. I have 4. FML

by well damn / 02/29/2016 at 5:17pm / United States (Ohio) / Kids

Today, my mom tried to convince me to throw out my insulin shots because she read a chain email that claimed they "cause cancer". FML

by Anonymous / 02/19/2016 at 2:00pm / United States (Ohio) / Health

Today, working at a fast food restaurant, I saw a woman in her late thirties pull out some hair and put it in her food, then threaten to sue me and the restaurant. She also told me no one would believe me, a teenager, when I told her I saw her put it there. FML

by jesuscrip / 02/18/2016 at 1:08am / United States (Ohio) / Work

Today, after months of daily migraines and doctor's visits, I've now been told that my "temporary" hearing loss has nothing to do with my migraines, nor is it temporary at all. FML

by make america date again / 02/10/2016 at 12:49pm / United States (Ohio) / Health

Today, there was an issue with the sewage system at work. It smelled like somebody took a turd, left it in the sun to marinate, threw up on it, then put in the air conditioning to fill the store with nauseating stink. I nearly threw up multiple times because we weren't allowed to leave early. FML

by Anonymous / 02/10/2016 at 11:57am / United States (Ohio) / Work

Today, I got into a car accident. The other driver was going so fast that when we hit, our cars positioned themselves to make it look like it was all my fault. He keeps blaming me for everything and the position of the cars doesn't help. FML

by Anon / 02/09/2016 at 7:39am / United States (Ohio) / Transportation

Today, my whack job of a father told my 8-year-old son that his cat deserves a bullet to the head for being so damn stupid. FML

by whydadwhy / 01/29/2016 at 5:52pm / United States (Ohio) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I donated blood for the first time. It wasn't until I passed out on the ice during hockey practice that I remembered the nurse warning me not to do any type of exercise. FML

by ktm1313 / 01/26/2016 at 4:38pm / United States (Ohio) / Health

Today, my girlfriend wasn't kidding when she said that if I hit her cervix just the 'right' way during sex, she'd puke. I was on the bottom. FML

by VisceralWolf / 01/26/2016 at 1:35am / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I met up with my dad for the first time in 7 years. We planned to go to a nice restaurant but he changed the place we were going to, to Chuck E. Cheese. I'm 18 years old. I waited an hour for him to show up. I then ended up babysitting his daughter the whole time. FML

by anonymous / 01/21/2016 at 8:55pm / United States (Ohio) / Kids