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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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FMLs submitted from Ohio

Today, my dog attacked me because I had a chicken costume on for a party. I'm currently in a hospital, dressed as a chicken, waiting for medical assistance. FML

#19046512
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25366) - you deserved it (4183)

On 02/11/2012 at 5:19am - animals - by lulu - United States (Ohio)

Today, my little brother went through all the artistic anatomy reference books and colored in all the nipples and penises with a bright pink sharpie. These books were from the library. FML

#18957870
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23026) - you deserved it (2676)

On 01/31/2012 at 12:16am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, in preparation for proposing to my girlfriend, I borrowed one of her rings, so I could discreetly get her ring size. Not only have I now lost the ring, which turns out to be a keepsake of her dead grandmother, I still don't know her ring size. FML

#18795582
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14855) - you deserved it (39040)

On 01/13/2012 at 1:16pm - misc - by machismo - United States (Ohio)

Today, I called my boyfriend over and over again and he never answered. His mom just called me and asked how I was holding up. I asked her what she meant and she had to tell me he checked himself into rehab because he was addicted to heroin. FML

#18708494
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33401) - you deserved it (3332)

On 01/04/2012 at 6:29pm - misc - by jada - United States (Ohio)

Today, I worked 4 hours for a huge mail call to get all the troops their Christmas mail. And just like every other mail call I did not receive one package or letter. FML

#18595916
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25795) - you deserved it (2170)

On 12/24/2011 at 3:38am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blow job. I thought it was going great and I was doing a good job, until he told me to "stop chomping on it like it's a hot dog." FML

#18513189
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20871) - you deserved it (26181)

On 12/14/2011 at 6:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I had an allergic reaction to my deodorant. My armpits wouldn't stop itching, and by the time my shift was over, they were raw and bloody. FML

#18494919
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30392) - you deserved it (3347)

On 12/12/2011 at 3:23pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, saying we're too different. His only example? He likes ham and I don't. FML

#18490588
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29935) - you deserved it (3967)

On 12/11/2011 at 11:46pm - love - by PunkChik27 - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, and gave his little speech, over the phone. He did all this while his ass was firmly planted in a chair in the next room. FML

#18487719
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24925) - you deserved it (2265)

On 12/11/2011 at 7:01pm - love - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I had to sit through chemistry class watching the kid in front of me slowly peel off the scabs on his arms, examine them, and then eat them. For an hour. FML

#18451156
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41791) - you deserved it (2662)

On 12/07/2011 at 6:35am - health - by cuppycakeslove - United States (Ohio)

Today, I found out I have to give my father-in-law back the football tickets he gave me for my birthday. Why? His girlfriend decided she wanted to go. He didn't get me a different gift. FML

#18434015
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24059) - you deserved it (2086)

On 12/05/2011 at 1:57am - misc - by Sal (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my dogs broke through our electric fence, one of whom managed to get his collar off. I picked it up and, without thinking, went across the fence line. I screamed like a chihuahua being run over by a bulldozer. FML

#18378000
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10496) - you deserved it (33262)

On 11/28/2011 at 6:54pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, we were going around the table, telling everyone what we were thankful for. My girlfriend said she was thankful for her vibrator, because I can't please her like it can. My family thought this was funny. FML

#18346597
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38239) - you deserved it (8466)

On 11/25/2011 at 12:20pm - intimacy - by notgoodenough - United States (Ohio)



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