Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from Ohio

Today, I woke up and decided to make my mom a special Easter breakfast in bed. I pre-heated the oven to bake the sausage just the way she likes. Guess where my easter basket was. FML

#19429036
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27529) - you deserved it (6215)

On 04/08/2012 at 10:30am - misc - by jess - United States (Ohio)

Today, I visited my gynecologist. As she had her fingers inside me she decided that was the perfect time to say, "I absolutely love your socks!" FML

#19379891
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21594) - you deserved it (3063)

On 03/31/2012 at 12:22am - health - by GetHardOrGoHome - United States (Ohio)

Today, was the first day of my new job. My boss admitted that they hadn't cleaned the employee bathroom for over two months. My first task: clean the employee bathroom. FML

#19343109
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21814) - you deserved it (1754)

On 03/25/2012 at 3:12am - misc - by LesToiliettes - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was laying down in bed when my puppy decided to bite my ear. As I started laughing and pulling him off I noticed one of my $200 earrings got pulled off with it. And now I wait. FML

#19293168
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28771) - you deserved it (4901)

On 03/17/2012 at 10:16am - misc - by lizzie1833 - United States (Ohio)

Today, my girlfriend of three days asked if we could start naming our future children. FML

#19285505
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32028) - you deserved it (4429)

On 03/15/2012 at 10:21pm - love - by spermbankonlegs (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I'm so sick that I'm drinking fluids just to make it hurt less when I puke. FML

#19195188
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24867) - you deserved it (2092)

On 03/01/2012 at 11:17am - health - by cmoney6452 - United States (Ohio)

Today, it's my birthday. My fiancé decided to give me the gift of "freedom". That's how he put it, anyway. FML

#19183355
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29765) - you deserved it (2248)

On 02/28/2012 at 5:04pm - love - by salt. - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend poked me on Facebook. I got excited because this is as close as he's come to touching me in weeks. FML

#19112130
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25589) - you deserved it (4383)

On 02/19/2012 at 12:40am - love - by Skullie - United States (Ohio)

Today, my drunken mother woke up after having passed out and yelled at me for ditching school. It took half an hour to explain that it's 5:00, and I've already been to school. FML

#19106281
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27893) - you deserved it (1788)

On 02/18/2012 at 9:20am - health - by AnastasiyaNicholas - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was in a grocery store with my great-grandmother. It would've been nice to know she hadn't taken her medication before she started beating the cashier with her umbrella. FML

#19098452
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21233) - you deserved it (1877)

On 02/17/2012 at 3:01am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, in a rush to get ready, I put on some "sexy" panties that I bought years ago. By the second hour of work, they were so tight and uncomfortable, I had to cut slits up the sides to avoid cutting off the circulation to my legs. FML

#19083998
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18214) - you deserved it (12770)

On 02/15/2012 at 6:26am - health - by too tight (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my dog attacked me because I had a chicken costume on for a party. I'm currently in a hospital, dressed as a chicken, waiting for medical assistance. FML

#19046512
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25361) - you deserved it (4183)

On 02/11/2012 at 5:19am - animals - by lulu - United States (Ohio)

Today, my little brother went through all the artistic anatomy reference books and colored in all the nipples and penises with a bright pink sharpie. These books were from the library. FML

#18957870
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23020) - you deserved it (2675)

On 01/31/2012 at 12:16am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: