FMLs submitted from Ohio

Today, I overcame my debilitating seasickness long enough to have a shower and take a breath of fresh air on the cruise ship balcony. Then as a reward, a passing seagull shat on my head. FML

by nomfuck / 09/09/2014 at 11:53am / United States (Ohio) / Health

Today, my boyfriend and I were having a conversation about the lack of communication in our relationship. I told him that sometimes I feel like he doesn't really care about me at all. If he did, he would listen more. His response? "I know your name, don't I?" FML

by Iamthatgirl / 08/27/2014 at 12:56am / United States (Ohio) / Love

Today, I was playing Mario Kart with my wife. I threw a blue shell and it hit her. She then refused to speak to me for three hours straight until right before bedtime when she called me a bastard and told me to sleep on the couch. FML

by Anonymous / 08/25/2014 at 1:44am / United States (Ohio) / Geek

Today, I asked my husband to tell me something nice about myself. He thought for a few moments, then said, "Uh, you shit quietly." FML

by ugh thanks / 08/17/2014 at 12:40pm / United States (Ohio) / Love

Today, after having multiple dreams where I have a daughter with my boyfriend, I'm now emotionally attached to a child who isn't real, and I get depressed when I can't be with her in real life. FML

by Anonymous / 08/14/2014 at 3:50pm / United States (Ohio) / Love

Today, I realized my dog looks at me with way more love in his eyes than my own boyfriend does. FML

by hopeless romantic / 08/14/2014 at 11:06am / United States (Ohio) / Animals

Today, my psychotic step-dad asked me if I'm doing drugs. I replied with a massive amount of sarcasm: "Yeah, all of 'em. Especially meth." He flipped out, searched my room top to bottom, then grounded me "for good" until I tell him where I hid the supposed drugs. FML

by Anonymous / 08/09/2014 at 1:32pm / United States (Ohio) / Kids

Today, my idiot son tried to get a veteran's discount at American Eagle because he's "a fifth prestige" on Call of Duty. FML

by Anonymous / 08/09/2014 at 9:31am / United States (Ohio) / Kids

Today, I found out my co-workers don't actually like me when they changed the hangout spot after accidentally inviting me. FML

by ditched / 08/05/2014 at 11:35pm / United States (Ohio) / Work

Today, it's my birthday. The only thing I received was a bill for a piss test I took earlier this year. FML

by birthday girl / 07/26/2014 at 12:55am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to take my cat to the vet. On the way there, he managed to get out of his cage, climb into the front seat, onto my chest, and howl in my face as I tried to drive down the highway. I ended up with stitches and still got charged for missing my cat's appointment. FML

by Anonymous / 07/21/2014 at 6:49pm / United States (Ohio) / Animals

Today, we decided to go to an aquarium for a little family get-away. At the end was a shark viewing deck, and I leaned over the rails to get a better look. How did I find out that my glasses needed to be adjusted? They fell off and sunk right to the bottom of the shark-infested waters. FML

by Anonymous / 07/17/2014 at 11:57am / United States (Ohio) / Animals

Today, I went to fill out my time sheet. Someone had edited it, and now it suddenly ends August 22nd. I think I'm getting fired. FML

by smpenn89 / 07/16/2014 at 10:26am / United States (Ohio) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.