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FMLs submitted from Ohio

Today, I was mugged by a guy in a Santa suit. FML

#21323615
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29187) - you deserved it (2593)

On 12/24/2014 at 10:48pm - money - by evil Santa - United States (Ohio)

Today, I learned to never invite my father to a wedding. He'll show up late, complain about the food, piss on a tree, and leave. FML

#21322693
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29930) - you deserved it (2583)

On 12/23/2014 at 1:25pm - misc - by Unknown - United States (Ohio)

Today, I wore what I thought was a hideous sweater from the thrift store for an ugly sweater contest. I've gotten more compliments on it than anything else I've ever worn. I can't even succeed at failure. FML

#21315542
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28474) - you deserved it (3229)

On 12/11/2014 at 11:10am - work - by anyoldnamewilldo (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, the school counselor asked me to leave the grief counseling group for the death of my sister. Apparently, I scare the others. FML

#21309843
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33821) - you deserved it (2356)

On 12/02/2014 at 12:30am - kids - by notmycircus (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my mom told me that her vagina is "as cute today as it was twenty years ago." FML

#21308358
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29106) - you deserved it (2646)

On 11/29/2014 at 9:06pm - misc - by justawallflower - United States (Ohio)

Today, I woke up with a vicious hangover. It wouldn't have been so bad if I hadn't woken up to dozens of cans strewn all over the floor. I don't remember buying half the store's supply of pork and beans. FML

#21304482
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23065) - you deserved it (7676)

On 11/23/2014 at 1:22pm - misc - by college student - United States (Ohio)

Today, I asked my dad for advice. I recently got drunk and had a one-night stand. I feel terrible, because I'm engaged to a wonderful lady. My dad just said, "You did the right thing, son, keep it up. She's gonna steal half ya shit in the divorce anyway". FML

#21299758
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19732) - you deserved it (29345)

On 11/15/2014 at 7:04pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I had a dream where I was cuddling with a girl. She rolled over to face me, snuggled up into the crook of my neck, then muttered in disgust, "Ugh, your breath stinks!" Cock-blocked in my own dreams. FML

#21296653
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31656) - you deserved it (3941)

On 11/11/2014 at 12:05am - misc - by mouthwash - United States (Ohio)

Today, I took a video of a fellow employee doing nothing but watching YouTube videos at work. When I showed the video to my boss, hoping he'd be reprimanded, I got fired for operating video equipment on company grounds. FML

#21293428
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26536) - you deserved it (33431)

On 11/06/2014 at 2:09pm - work - by NoJobNovember - United States (Ohio)

Today, my girlfriend came over to my place unannounced. She slapped me in the face, said, "You son of a bitch." and stormed off. I have no idea what that was for. FML

#21289746
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34931) - you deserved it (4728)

On 11/01/2014 at 2:23pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was getting a pedicure to cheer myself up. I've been so lonely, I got overly excited when someone sat next to me, because I got to pretend I had a friend. FML

#21286908
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31887) - you deserved it (3594)

On 10/28/2014 at 10:07am - misc - by bottombarrel - United States (Ohio)

Today, I overheard my co-workers talking about how they don't need flu shots because everyone else gets them. These people are in the medical industry. FML

#21286250
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31171) - you deserved it (2936)

On 10/27/2014 at 11:40am - work - by Silbax1 (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was passing notes in class with my crush. I started to pour my heart out and tell him about how I've liked him for years. I was caught by the teacher. He looked at it, laughed, and tore it up. He then looked at me and said, "I just saved you from years of embarrassment. You're welcome." FML

#21283544
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38068) - you deserved it (10037)

On 10/23/2014 at 12:04am - love - by Rachel - United States (Ohio)



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