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FMLs submitted from Ohio

Today, I got a massage. Just as I was starting to relax, the massage therapist drooled on my face. FML

#21393655
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28432) - you deserved it (1939)

On 04/14/2015 at 5:50pm - misc - by spitty (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I showed a kid how to knock somebody out for self defense. He then knocked me unconscious with the same method I'd just showed him. FML

#21390911
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26237) - you deserved it (9475)

On 04/09/2015 at 9:02pm - misc - by Jakesssss - United States (Ohio)

Today, I lost my virginity in a porta-potty. FML

#21389255
266 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16847) - you deserved it (42374)

On 04/07/2015 at 12:19pm - love - by NotALuckyGuy - United States (Ohio)

Today, my parents walked in on me, having sex. No, I wasn't having sex. They were. FML

#21384025
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36984) - you deserved it (2945)

On 03/30/2015 at 6:30am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I lost hundreds of dollars in gift cards. Robbed? No. Mugged? Don't think so. My roommate threw them away after he got water on them, thinking that it rendered them unusable. FML

#21383795
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28469) - you deserved it (2122)

On 03/29/2015 at 9:09pm - money - by BrokeAndSad - United States (Ohio)

Today, I had to sit in a three-seat truck between my dad and his best friend on a 4-hour trip to Detroit. It was great, besides their incessant crude jokes and stories, including chafing ball sacks, and naming their new radio station, "Chicks With Dicks Radio." FML

#21380298
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24265) - you deserved it (2477)

On 03/23/2015 at 7:08pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, my teacher took my test along with another student's and gave us both a zero. Why? Because we both have colds so when we breathe through our nose it makes a sniffle noise. She thought we were using a secret code to communicate by sniffling. FML

#21380083
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37015) - you deserved it (2234)

On 03/23/2015 at 11:43am - misc - by Mr. Sniffles - United States (Ohio)

Today, I had my 18th birthday party. At midnight, three police officers showed up at my door and asked if they could look around. Were we doing anything bad? Nope. My friends suck at parking. Before they left, the officers said that this was the most toned down party they'd seen in years. FML

#21379703
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27218) - you deserved it (34)

On 03/22/2015 at 8:20pm - misc - by dicedicebaby - United States (Ohio)

Today, while waxing a client's chest, I forgot to have him turn his head. When I ripped the strip, I punched him in the face. FML

#21379638
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24785) - you deserved it (7923)

On 03/22/2015 at 6:32pm - work - by waxer150 - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was stopped in the grocery store by a stranger, who berated me, quite loudly, for going out in public in my pajamas. I had just gotten off work and was wearing scrubs. FML

#21372027
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29881) - you deserved it (1933)

On 03/10/2015 at 6:38pm - misc - by katgib13 (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, a friend sent me a song. I didn't have time to listen to it all, so I listened to the first 30 seconds of it to get a feel for it. It was nice and uplifting, so I sent it to my mom. Turns out, after the first 30 seconds, the singer brightens his day by singing about his enormous penis. FML

#21366785
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24848) - you deserved it (12106)

On 03/02/2015 at 7:48pm - misc - by Microtron - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was demoted as a bridesmaid in a wedding because I dyed my hair, and didn't ask permission from the bride to do so. The bride is my sister. FML

Today, my sister came out of the closet. By which I mean she came out as the pregnant mother of my boyfriend's child. FML

#21365896
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36652) - you deserved it (2405)

On 03/01/2015 at 2:03pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)



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