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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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FMLs submitted from Ohio

Today, my dad sat me down and angrily accused me of doing drugs, all because he's noticed I've recently become a lot more energetic and emotional than usual. The truth is, I'd been smoking weed daily for 3 years and just decided to never smoke it again 2 weeks ago. FML

#21397872
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27893) - you deserved it (4962)

On 04/22/2015 at 9:39am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, while mowing my backyard, I carelessly ran over a fire ant hill. Thousands of tiny stinging insects blowing towards you while you're wearing shorts and a t-shirt is definitely not fun. FML

#21395171
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25391) - you deserved it (4676)

On 04/17/2015 at 11:27am - health - by Mitchellbassists (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I got a massage. Just as I was starting to relax, the massage therapist drooled on my face. FML

#21393655
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28029) - you deserved it (1823)

On 04/14/2015 at 5:50pm - misc - by spitty (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I showed a kid how to knock somebody out for self defense. He then knocked me unconscious with the same method I'd just showed him. FML

#21390911
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26134) - you deserved it (9444)

On 04/09/2015 at 9:02pm - misc - by Jakesssss - United States (Ohio)

Today, I lost my virginity in a porta-potty. FML

#21389255
262 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16701) - you deserved it (41705)

On 04/07/2015 at 12:19pm - love - by NotALuckyGuy - United States (Ohio)

Today, my parents walked in on me, having sex. No, I wasn't having sex. They were. FML

#21384025
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36255) - you deserved it (2929)

On 03/30/2015 at 6:30am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I lost hundreds of dollars in gift cards. Robbed? No. Mugged? Don't think so. My roommate threw them away after he got water on them, thinking that it rendered them unusable. FML

#21383795
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28328) - you deserved it (2115)

On 03/29/2015 at 9:09pm - money - by BrokeAndSad - United States (Ohio)

Today, I had to sit in a three-seat truck between my dad and his best friend on a 4-hour trip to Detroit. It was great, besides their incessant crude jokes and stories, including chafing ball sacks, and naming their new radio station, "Chicks With Dicks Radio." FML

#21380298
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23594) - you deserved it (2298)

On 03/23/2015 at 7:08pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, my teacher took my test along with another student's and gave us both a zero. Why? Because we both have colds so when we breathe through our nose it makes a sniffle noise. She thought we were using a secret code to communicate by sniffling. FML

#21380083
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36943) - you deserved it (2232)

On 03/23/2015 at 11:43am - misc - by Mr. Sniffles - United States (Ohio)

Today, I had my 18th birthday party. At midnight, three police officers showed up at my door and asked if they could look around. Were we doing anything bad? Nope. My friends suck at parking. Before they left, the officers said that this was the most toned down party they'd seen in years. FML

#21379703
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27159) - you deserved it (31)

On 03/22/2015 at 8:20pm - misc - by dicedicebaby - United States (Ohio)

Today, while waxing a client's chest, I forgot to have him turn his head. When I ripped the strip, I punched him in the face. FML

#21379638
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24240) - you deserved it (7525)

On 03/22/2015 at 6:32pm - work - by waxer150 - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was stopped in the grocery store by a stranger, who berated me, quite loudly, for going out in public in my pajamas. I had just gotten off work and was wearing scrubs. FML

#21372027
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29832) - you deserved it (1929)

On 03/10/2015 at 6:38pm - misc - by katgib13 (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, a friend sent me a song. I didn't have time to listen to it all, so I listened to the first 30 seconds of it to get a feel for it. It was nice and uplifting, so I sent it to my mom. Turns out, after the first 30 seconds, the singer brightens his day by singing about his enormous penis. FML

#21366785
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24366) - you deserved it (11851)

On 03/02/2015 at 7:48pm - misc - by Microtron - United States (Ohio)



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