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FMLs submitted from Ohio

Today, I was outside talking to my new neighbor. I was gesturing while talking and didn't notice the little kid riding her bike coming our way. I ended up accidentally smacking her in the face and knocking her off her bike. Apparently she's my new neighbor's daughter. Welcome to the neighborhood. FML

#21462173
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18185) - you deserved it (1781)

On 08/29/2015 at 3:10pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I found my daughter sobbing and trying to stick a wad of gauze to her vagina. She was having her first period. FML

#21453304
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23587) - you deserved it (9983)

On 08/07/2015 at 10:16pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, the girl I've loved for years kissed me. Then she started crying and wiping her mouth, and had a panic attack. I had to help her through it, tell her that it was no big deal, and that it would never happen again. FML

Today, I asked my boss for a promotion. "You don't work here but I can give you a job application." I've been working here for 8 years. FML

#21448654
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25717) - you deserved it (1758)

On 07/28/2015 at 4:44pm - work - by Application - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was hanging out with my neighbor. He asked me if I wanted to play Twister, and I said no because I thought it would be weird. What was his response? "C'mon. You can leave if it gets sexual". FML

Today, I finally got up the courage to quit my first job. I spent hours determining the most professional way; the method, and the wording I would use. In the middle of the phone call, my manager hung up on me. FML

Today, while at my shitty, minimum wage job at McDonalds, a guy walked out of the bathroom. He said "Good luck in there." worriedly, then left. I don't know if it was his handiwork, but it looked like a shit grenade had detonated. It was even on the walls. FML

#21439774
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27124) - you deserved it (1997)

On 07/10/2015 at 10:20pm - work - by don't get paid enough for this (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my husband's 70-year-old uncle came for a visit. Since we only have 2 bedrooms, we set him up in our daughter's room. Later, I glanced into the room and saw him masturbating in her bed. FML

#21436083
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28262) - you deserved it (2595)

On 07/03/2015 at 10:31pm - misc - by okaydisarray (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, after helping run salads and bread to a table, they demanded I do something about the bug problem. I would've been more understanding if they hadn't chosen to sit outside. FML

#21435223
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25536) - you deserved it (1733)

On 07/02/2015 at 2:40am - work - by smokecloud_ - United States (Ohio)

Today, I noticed a rash of insect bites on the backs of my thighs and buttocks. Upon further investigation, it appears that the inside of the chair in my work cubicle is infested with bedbugs. I'm too paranoid to sit in any work chair now. There are 12 hours left in my shift. FML

#21433237
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25057) - you deserved it (1686)

On 06/28/2015 at 11:00am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was about to leave for my honeymoon with my new husband, when he saw my deodorant in my bag. He picked it up and asked what it was. When I said it was deodorant, he gave me a confused look and said "girls don't wear deodorant". He actually believed that. FML

#21428525
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26936) - you deserved it (2758)

On 06/19/2015 at 10:47am - health - by stanky - United States (Ohio)

Today, my mother found my escaped pet snake after she had already washed and dried it with the laundry. FML

#21419928
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28993) - you deserved it (4016)

On 06/02/2015 at 9:34pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, for my birthday, my boyfriend made me a coupon book. I thought it was sweet until I noticed they were all conditional. For example; "Give your boyfriend a blowjob and he'll give you a 10 minute back massage!". They're all like that and he's mad because I refuse to use them. FML

#21417382
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30590) - you deserved it (3469)

On 05/28/2015 at 11:39pm - intimacy - by shmoooopie (woman) - United States (Ohio)



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