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FMLs submitted from Ohio

Today, my whack job of a father told my 8-year-old son that his cat deserves a bullet to the head for being so damn stupid. FML

Today, I donated blood for the first time. It wasn't until I passed out on the ice during hockey practice that I remembered the nurse warning me not to do any type of exercise. FML

#21519730
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10432) - you deserved it (17455)

On 01/26/2016 at 4:38pm - health - by ktm1313 - United States (Ohio)

Today, my girlfriend wasn't kidding when she said that if I hit her cervix just the 'right' way during sex, she'd puke. I was on the bottom. FML

Today, I met up with my dad for the first time in 7 years. We planned to go to a nice restaurant but he changed the place we were going to, to Chuck E. Cheese. I'm 18 years old. I waited an hour for him to show up. I then ended up babysitting his daughter the whole time. FML

#21517950
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21510) - you deserved it (1403)

On 01/21/2016 at 8:55pm - kids - by anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, while I was taking a shower, my boyfriend came into the bathroom to ask me a question. When I got out of the shower, I was greeted with a horrifying cutout of Michael Jackson. I fell backwards, shattering the glass shower door. I needed stitches. FML

Today, I put more effort into getting and keeping my Sims onto a good sleep schedule in order to properly take care of their needs than I did for myself. FML

#21516448
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16363) - you deserved it (7118)

On 01/18/2016 at 12:18am - health - by 221bcompanion - United States (Ohio)

Today, I found out that I'm going to be a father. Too bad I can't tell my wife. FML

#21513340
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8994) - you deserved it (72728)

On 01/09/2016 at 9:17pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I spent nearly an hour trying to take a decent photo for my dating site profile. Not 20 minutes after uploading it, I got a message saying "Srsly dude stop trying, u look like Rosie O'Donnell." FML

#21513083
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19878) - you deserved it (2097)

On 01/09/2016 at 12:38am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my grandfather showed up at my house in a panic. He rushed over, with a gun, because I wasn't answering his texts and he thought something had happened to me. I was asleep. FML

#21511770
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20767) - you deserved it (1990)

On 01/05/2016 at 12:44pm - misc - by notanightowlanymore (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my ex-boyfriend admitted the reason he broke up with me was because he cheated and felt awful about it. The girl is now pregnant, but he swears it isn't his. Guess we'll find out in a few months if my daughter has a sibling. FML

#21511205
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21760) - you deserved it (2079)

On 01/03/2016 at 11:57pm - intimacy - by loko0909 (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, after weeks of keeping it a secret, I excitedly gave my boyfriend what I thought to be the perfect Christmas present. Turns out lock picking sets are illegal in Ohio. FML

#21508274
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16646) - you deserved it (7361)

On 12/27/2015 at 12:18am - misc - by BahHumbug (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was so inexplicably horny that I had to shuffle awkwardly and use my bag to hide the wetness of my pants as I left work for the day. FML

#21501271
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22082) - you deserved it (3137)

On 12/07/2015 at 9:32pm - intimacy - by Hormones apparently (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, after many years of being single, I finally worked up the courage to ask my coworker out. He said no and gave me "fair warning" that he's going to report me for sexual harassment. FML

#21497440
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23812) - you deserved it (2580)

On 11/27/2015 at 10:52am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)



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