FMLs submitted from Northwest Territories

Today, I'm 8 months pregnant with a horribly sore back and an insensitive husband. I'm so desperate for relief that I'm lying on the couch, using my vibrator to give myself a back massage. FML

by guyssuck / 02/26/2013 at 2:11pm / Canada (Northwest Territories) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend and I were both at home, sick. We decided to make the best of it and spent the day in bed together. Things got a little steamy, and we started making out. As I started kissing her neck, I got nauseous. Before I could pull away, I threw up all over her. FML

by Anonymous / 10/22/2011 at 5:51pm / Canada (Northwest Territories) / Health

Today, I dove into the water perfectly, and my bikini bottoms came off. I splashed around nervously. This guy must have thought I was drowning, and dove in to save me. He emerged from the water carrying a half naked girl. FML

by loser. / 03/20/2010 at 2:23am / Canada (Northwest Territories) / Holidays

Today, I marched into my workplace yelling "take this job and shove it", under the impression I would be on a flight in a few days out of here. However, the airline has informed me I cannot fly until April because cargo is too cold for my dog this time of year. Jobless, four weeks to wait. FML

by EnemyofKarma / 03/04/2010 at 3:52am / Canada (Northwest Territories) / Work

Today, the guy I've been dating texted me to say he joined an online dating site. He must have thought I was the best person to share this information with. FML

by Anonymous / 11/04/2009 at 12:05am / Canada (Northwest Territories) / Love

Today, I took my son for a walk to tell him about the passing of our family dog. As we were walking by the river, Ozzy (our deceased dog) was laying on the riverbank. My son thought he just ran away and we found him. Turns out my husband was too cheap to pay the 100$ vet disposal fees. FML

by cheaphubbyswife / 04/04/2009 at 5:19am / Canada (Northwest Territories) / Animals