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FMLs submitted from North Carolina

Today, my wife came back from her camping trip with her friends. I decided to help her out by unpacking her stuff while she used the bathroom. It's funny; I never knew that a dildo, a ball gag and an open pack of condoms were considered camping gear. FML

#21427521
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37551) - you deserved it (2895)

On 06/17/2015 at 10:12am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I went out to eat. When I walked into the restaurant, a lady approached me and said she'd seat me soon. After a long wait, I saw that same lady leave. Then I realized she didn't actually work there and was just screwing with me. FML

#21426994
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30046) - you deserved it (3300)

On 06/16/2015 at 12:13pm - misc - by VHBJ - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my parents bought my 11-year-old brother a MacBook for my birthday. FML

#21425434
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31352) - you deserved it (2258)

On 06/13/2015 at 12:34pm - kids - by thanks for the $5 gift voucher (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I worked in a shoe store. As I was removing the shoes off an older man I felt a squish, and pulled back my hand to see brown and yellow. The man then looked at me and said, "Looks like I missed a spot." Dog crap. FML

#21423738
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24464) - you deserved it (1732)

On 06/10/2015 at 1:25am - work - by UkuleleTime - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I finally found a bug I had been trying to get rid of. When I removed my bra, I noticed what looked like a piece of bug on it. Apparently, the bug was flattened and suffocated by my boob the entire day. FML

#21414219
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26051) - you deserved it (2620)

On 05/22/2015 at 10:26pm - misc - by Kurda (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, was my first experience having sex. It was also my first experience with a condom breaking. FML

Today, after a big presentation, people sent an open invitation to dinner. When I asked which restaurant and what time, I was told that I wasn't invited. I've been here for three years. FML

#21409208
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26983) - you deserved it (2232)

On 05/12/2015 at 10:11pm - work - by spitt (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, while with a large group of friends, my best friend started talking about my struggles with dating and intimacy. I quietly asked her to stop talking about it, as it was personal and I wasn't comfortable with everyone else knowing. Her response? "Um, it's really none of your business." FML

Today, while walking down the street, a cute guy approached me. We ended up having some drinks then heading back to his place and hooked up. Afterwards, I used the bathroom, and when I came out, he was going through his wallet and asked me how much he owed me. FML

#21391926
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35787) - you deserved it (11134)

On 04/11/2015 at 6:05pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I overheard a large group of my friends and acquaintances making spontaneous plans to go see a movie that afternoon. I was the only person not invited. Normally I would have believed their excuse that they thought I was "sick at home", except I was sitting a few feet away the entire time. FML

#21390441
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29682) - you deserved it (2602)

On 04/09/2015 at 2:25am - misc - by ifeelsoloved (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I've managed to go my whole nine-year teaching career without anyone vomiting in my classroom. That record was broken today when someone vomited four successive times in front of a class of 46 students. It was me. FML

#21373013
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32771) - you deserved it (2781)

On 03/12/2015 at 6:23am - work - by musicteacher - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I got fired from my new waitress job after 2 shifts. They said I wasn't experienced enough to handle the fast pace. I thought I'd been doing well so I asked my friend who works there what really happened. Apparently not showing my boobs enough at a family place was grounds for dismissal. FML

#21367306
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30470) - you deserved it (2440)

On 03/03/2015 at 2:06pm - work - by miewann - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I discovered that my fiancé consistently thinks about his fear of breaking his penis while we have sex. He's afraid to have sex with me. FML

#21366308
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35087) - you deserved it (3298)

On 03/02/2015 at 12:14am - intimacy - by dickofbrokendreams - United States (North Carolina)



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