FMLs submitted from North Carolina

Today, I found out what it means to be the only single person in my group of friends. They had a New Year's party and didn't invite me because they didn't want me to "feel alone". FML

by feelin a lil left out / 01/01/2016 at 3:35am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, at work, our boss's son came in to help. The whole time he was there he sat in the back on his phone not helping and whenever we asked him to do something, he had an attitude. The only time he voluntarily got up to help was when his dad came in to check on the restaurant. FML

by sickofit / 12/31/2015 at 3:24am / United States (North Carolina) / Work

Today, I had fallen asleep in the back of a friend's car on the way home from a night out. When I woke up, they were in the middle of a full-on make out session. I had to pretend to be asleep for 20 minutes until they decided to "wake me up". FML

by mikmak / 12/20/2015 at 8:26am / United States (North Carolina) / Love

Today, I had been stress-eating a lot of junk food during finals week at college. I was feeling worried about my figure, and lifted up my shirt to see myself in the mirror. My boyfriend, who I didn't know was watching, promptly said, "Whoa babe, it looks like the condom broke!" FML

by pregnantapparently / 12/10/2015 at 1:45pm / United States (North Carolina) / Love

Today, my grandmother insisted that Mexicans sacrifice humans every year as part of their Catholic religion. The Swaggart guy on TV said so, and apparently, he can't be wrong, ever. FML

by wtfiswronghere / 12/08/2015 at 1:36pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, at work, my vindictive, cheating ex made me clean and inspect her new wedding ring. FML

by Anonymous / 12/06/2015 at 4:58am / United States (North Carolina) / Work

Today, I learned that while most people drunk text, I drunk clean. And by drunk clean I mean put my things away where I won't be able to find them, like my car keys. FML

by Anon / 12/05/2015 at 6:15pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, it was my first day working at a dog boarding kennel. I got bit... by my coworker. FML

by not twilight / 12/04/2015 at 7:47pm / United States (North Carolina) / Animals

Today, I spoke to a highly recommended therapist for my special-needs child. After 45 minutes of describing our challenges, heartbreaks and other very personal information, she told me that her schedule was permanently full. But she invited me to go through the phone book to find someone else. FML

by Hi_Five / 12/03/2015 at 3:48pm / United States (North Carolina) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I grazed my hand over the bottom of my desk's keyboard tray, and found something sticky. I gagged when I realized it was jizz, and I immediately washed my hands and wiped everything. I then checked my browser history, which was full of porn. Thanks, roomie. FML

by katluvnc / 12/03/2015 at 9:02am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, an obese man decided it was okay to share a urinal with me. FML

by Creepedout / 11/18/2015 at 10:26pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend cornered me and asked if I'm gay. I said no and asked why she even had any doubts. Apparently me being depressed and crying over my grandmother's death is "faggish" and means I want to have sex with men. Who knew? FML

by Anonymous / 11/18/2015 at 8:47am / United States (North Carolina) / Health

Today, my mother dragged me to the mall to get me out of the house and to get me to stop using my phone. She then spent the whole trip talking on her phone instead of actually interacting with me. FML

by LuxTheSarcastic / 11/06/2015 at 6:05pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous