Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from North Carolina

Today, I went out to eat. When I walked into the restaurant, a lady approached me and said she'd seat me soon. After a long wait, I saw that same lady leave. Then I realized she didn't actually work there and was just screwing with me. FML

#21426994
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29539) - you deserved it (3252)

On 06/16/2015 at 12:13pm - misc - by VHBJ - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my parents bought my 11-year-old brother a MacBook for my birthday. FML

#21425434
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30352) - you deserved it (2182)

On 06/13/2015 at 12:34pm - kids - by thanks for the $5 gift voucher (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I worked in a shoe store. As I was removing the shoes off an older man I felt a squish, and pulled back my hand to see brown and yellow. The man then looked at me and said, "Looks like I missed a spot." Dog crap. FML

#21423738
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24029) - you deserved it (1701)

On 06/10/2015 at 1:25am - work - by UkuleleTime - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I finally found a bug I had been trying to get rid of. When I removed my bra, I noticed what looked like a piece of bug on it. Apparently, the bug was flattened and suffocated by my boob the entire day. FML

#21414219
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25432) - you deserved it (2569)

On 05/22/2015 at 10:26pm - misc - by Kurda (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, was my first experience having sex. It was also my first experience with a condom breaking. FML

Today, after a big presentation, people sent an open invitation to dinner. When I asked which restaurant and what time, I was told that I wasn't invited. I've been here for three years. FML

#21409208
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26366) - you deserved it (2185)

On 05/12/2015 at 10:11pm - work - by spitt (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, while with a large group of friends, my best friend started talking about my struggles with dating and intimacy. I quietly asked her to stop talking about it, as it was personal and I wasn't comfortable with everyone else knowing. Her response? "Um, it's really none of your business." FML

Today, while walking down the street, a cute guy approached me. We ended up having some drinks then heading back to his place and hooked up. Afterwards, I used the bathroom, and when I came out, he was going through his wallet and asked me how much he owed me. FML

#21391926
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32220) - you deserved it (9635)

On 04/11/2015 at 6:05pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I overheard a large group of my friends and acquaintances making spontaneous plans to go see a movie that afternoon. I was the only person not invited. Normally I would have believed their excuse that they thought I was "sick at home", except I was sitting a few feet away the entire time. FML

#21390441
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28035) - you deserved it (2360)

On 04/09/2015 at 2:25am - misc - by ifeelsoloved (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I've managed to go my whole nine-year teaching career without anyone vomiting in my classroom. That record was broken today when someone vomited four successive times in front of a class of 46 students. It was me. FML

#21373013
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32076) - you deserved it (2724)

On 03/12/2015 at 6:23am - work - by musicteacher - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I got fired from my new waitress job after 2 shifts. They said I wasn't experienced enough to handle the fast pace. I thought I'd been doing well so I asked my friend who works there what really happened. Apparently not showing my boobs enough at a family place was grounds for dismissal. FML

#21367306
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29411) - you deserved it (2374)

On 03/03/2015 at 2:06pm - work - by miewann - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I discovered that my fiancé consistently thinks about his fear of breaking his penis while we have sex. He's afraid to have sex with me. FML

#21366308
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31431) - you deserved it (2589)

On 03/02/2015 at 12:14am - intimacy - by dickofbrokendreams - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I won a pool game against some guy. His friends started mocking him for getting his ass whooped by a pregnant girl who couldn't even lean over the table. He got mad, swung his pool stick at them, missed, and hit me right in the face. FML

#21364532
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (144) - you deserved it (2454)

On 02/27/2015 at 10:29am - misc - by MCForty (woman) - United States (North Carolina)



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: