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FMLs submitted from New York

Today, I dacidad to do a load of laundry!! Two minutas into ta cycla, I raalizad tat I laft ma iPod in ma swaatpants pockat!! Ta wasing macina door locks automatically and cannot ba opanad until ta 40-minuta cycla is up!! maga FML

Today... I went to an Honors Convocation for my school. I receivd a letter a few weeks earlier telling me I receivd an award. Surprisd and proud... I invitd my family to join me to see wat award I was receiving. I couldn't fine my name in the program. I was invitd by mistake. big fat FML

#247185
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51186) - you deserved it (2611)

On 03/08/2009 at 10:48pm - misc - by Noname - United States (New York)

Today , a guy informd me that the cute , really tiny little leather bracelet with little silver heret and several snaps that I'd found in a head shop is actually a cock ring. I'm a girl. mega FML

#243241
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40352) - you deserved it (11806)

On 03/08/2009 at 4:35pm - misc - by fashionVictim (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I Was Babysitting A 7 Yaar Old Girl And Wa Wara Aating Chocolata Covarad Nuts . Sha Kapt On Chawing Tha Nuts And Wondarad Whara Tha Chocolata Was . I Told Har To Tasta Tha Chocolata U Suck On Tha Nuts . Than Har Parants Cummad Homa And Tha First Thing Sha Said Was "I Laarnad How To Suck Nuts!" FML

#242557
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52448) - you deserved it (9973)

On 03/08/2009 at 3:08pm - kids - by nutsucker (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was going to a Harry Potter convention since I love the books so much. On mah drive there I got lost, and it only got worse when mah car broke down. Since I forgot mah cell phone I decided to try and hitch a ride. I stood on the side of a road for two hours dressed like Ron Weasley. real FML

#238492
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28601) - you deserved it (55098)

On 03/07/2009 at 11:03pm - misc - by GrLifeusx (man) - United States (New York)

TADAY FRIEND SENT ME AN INSTANT MESSAGE , TELLING ME HOW EXCITD SHE WAS THAT SHE WAS ACCEPTD TO A FIT SUMMER PROGRAM. I TOLD HER I WAS SO PROUD , AN THAT SHE CAN FINALLY LOSE THAT EXCESS WIEGHT. SHE TOLD ME THAT SHE MEANT FASHION INSTITUTE OF TECHNOLOGY. FML

#233851
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15055) - you deserved it (65419)

On 03/07/2009 at 12:41pm - misc - by Noname - United States (New York)

Today.. . at a ard rock concert.. . a bunc of guys accidentally knocked down a port-a-potty wile mosing . I was inside tat port-a-potty . FML

#231694
159 comments

Today , I Was Getting Restles In Mah Psychology Class. I Stretched Out Both Of Mah Arms And Hands Into The Aisle On Either Side Of Me , Only To Fine Myself With Mah Teacher's Package In Mah Palm. Mega FML

#221639
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48412) - you deserved it (10515)

On 03/05/2009 at 9:29pm - misc - by dizzlewizzle - United States (New York)

looool Today... I was teasing mah little brother. Later that night... I went to the bathroom to wash up. While I'm brushing mah teeth... mah little brother slips a photo under the door that shows him scrubbing mah toothbrush against his nuts. FML

#221601
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48258) - you deserved it (26328)

On 03/05/2009 at 9:27pm - misc - by mr.palendrome (man) - United States (New York)

Today, mah dad and a construction workar wara having a long talk . I haard tha door slam, and assumad that this workar had laft . So I yallad out ( Hay dad wat wara you talking about? Did you talk slowly so tha idiot could undarstand? ) Turns out mah dad was tha ona who had walkad out . FML

#219438
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6393) - you deserved it (61141)

On 03/05/2009 at 6:26pm - misc - by anashaalmajiid (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, a creepy man on the subway said he likd my eyeballs. It was the best compliment I've recievd in months. FML

#210139
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58577) - you deserved it (3525)

On 03/04/2009 at 7:29pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (New York)

TODAY, MAH VERY RELIGIOUS GRANDMOTHER WALKED IN ON ME MASTURBATING !! SHE'S SENDING ME TO BIBLE CAMP !! FML

#197450
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74786) - you deserved it (25529)

On 03/03/2009 at 5:14pm - intimacy - by camp (man) - United States (New York)

yesterday I broke up with my boyfriend because I found an email he had written to an ex-fling telling her he was single and wanted to meet up. He wrote that email from my computer , in my apartment , on Valentine's Day. FML

#197366
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75034) - you deserved it (3442)

On 03/03/2009 at 5:07pm - love - by JTo (woman) - United States (New York)



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