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FMLs submitted from New York

Today, I slept with this new guy for the first time. After sex, he said the doggie style position was fun, it made him wonder what it would be like to rape a girl. FML

#4489
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60242) - you deserved it (5124)

On 02/01/2009 at 5:53am - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend caught me picking my nose and eating the booger. FML

#3992
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5473) - you deserved it (74193)

On 01/31/2009 at 6:48am - love - by jeesh - United States (New York)

Today, I found my drunken roommate asleep in my bed, naked, after he'd peed himself. FML

#3934
12 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21875) - you deserved it (1329)

On 01/30/2009 at 11:40pm - misc - by shit - United States (New York)

Today, I found out that my assistant is now my manager. FML

#3854
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22879) - you deserved it (2226)

On 01/30/2009 at 5:57pm - work - by thatsillegal - United States (New York)

Today, the dentist had to give me a lot of novacaine because my mouth wasn't becoming numb. After the 4th time the entire right side of my mouth was numb, except for the 2 teeth getting worked on. FML

#3757
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20165) - you deserved it (922)

On 01/30/2009 at 12:05pm - health - by ihateeverything - United States (New York)

Today, I went on a date with my really attractive neighbor, and at the end, when I leaned in to make out with her, she shook my hand. FML

#3670
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18436) - you deserved it (4781)

On 01/30/2009 at 9:42am - love - by anonymous neighbor - United States (New York)

Today, a toddler's play ball rolled over to me in the park. I playfully pitched it to him as his parents watched from afar. The ball hit him in the face. FML

#3469
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19001) - you deserved it (2785)

On 01/29/2009 at 6:08pm - misc - by Noname - United States (New York)

Today, my parents told me that they received a letter from a prison. Being curious they opened it up and read the entire thing. It was from this girl I randomly met. Now I have a prison stalker and my parents think I date felons. FML

#3360
16 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16152) - you deserved it (2024)

On 01/29/2009 at 12:04pm - misc - by K Holed - United States (New York)

Today, I decided to make a toaster scramble. I thought it was bad enough when the pastry fell through the grate in the toaster over. Then it burst into flames. After 5 minutes of fanning the smoke away from the smoke detector, it still went off. Now my entire dorm building is outside in a snowstorm. FML

#3178
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15433) - you deserved it (4277)

On 01/28/2009 at 6:35pm - misc - by im_a_mocker - United States (New York)

Today, walking to work in a snowstorm since I don't own a car, a man rolled down his window and screamed, "what are you doing you f***ing freak? you stupid b**ch!", while I waited for a green light to cross. FML

#3093
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20813) - you deserved it (1901)

On 01/28/2009 at 2:21pm - work - by likwidsol - United States (New York)

Today, I posted on a forum asking if I could be a moderator. Instead, I got banned. FML

#3026
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5449) - you deserved it (23031)

On 01/28/2009 at 10:00am - misc - by hypebeast - United States (New York)

Today, I got a text from my roommate asking me if it was cool that my ex was coming over to console him because he's sick. FML

#2860
13 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17941) - you deserved it (1429)

On 01/27/2009 at 2:41pm - love - by dammed - United States (New York)

Today, I went to surprise my boyfriend in the shower. I opened the door and there was a giant shit in the open toilet. I pretended I was looking for my hairbrush. FML

#2705
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26239) - you deserved it (6480)

On 01/26/2009 at 4:45pm - intimacy - by bad surprise - United States (New York)



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