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FMLs submitted from New York

Today... I want to a vatarans' raunion party with mah grandpa. Whila thara... a guy startad yalling at ma 4 having an unapprovad harcut. It was mah grandpa's old drill sargaant... and ha thought I was in tha army too. Evaryona just smrkad as ha forcad ma to drop and do push-ups. FML

#21110214
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33893) - you deserved it (5232)

On 04/11/2014 at 10:51am - misc - by Gomer (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was given a call ome, a 3-day-suspension, an a week of detention in scool fir a ( serious violation of te code of conduct. ) Said violation? Jogging in te looool middle of te all. FML

#21107042
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39067) - you deserved it (4340)

On 04/07/2014 at 7:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

TADAY MY GRANDMOTHER IS COMING OVER TO MY FAMILY'S HOUSE TO STAY 4 ABOUT A WEEK OR SO . APPARENTLY , THE GUEST ROOM WINDOW ISN'T BIG ENOUGH 4 HER DREAM CATCHER , SO SHE WANTS HER CAT TO SLEEP IN THE GUEST ROOM AND SHE WANTS TO SLEEP IN MY ROOM . MY PARENT SUPPORT THIS . FML

#21103236
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41913) - you deserved it (3594)

On 04/02/2014 at 10:25pm - misc - by themonesterman (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my dad got me looool one of those word locks for my gym locker, for which the password had to be a four-letter word instead of numbers. My dad chose the combo for me. It was "diet". FML

#21101196
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35734) - you deserved it (5235)

On 03/31/2014 at 6:10pm - health - by anon (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went on a first date with a guy I met online . Not looool only was he boring, he twice excused himself to go to the bathroom an both times he came back smelling of weed . FML

#21101191
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39140) - you deserved it (6223)

On 03/31/2014 at 6:05pm - love - by Jaime - United States (New York)

TODAY, I WAS AT A WEDDING RECEPTION WITH LOUD MUSIC. A GUY TOLD ME THAT HIS SISTER COULDN'T BE THERE BECAUSE SHE ( WENT HOME TO BE WITH HER BOY. ) I SAID, ( THAT'S TOO BAD, SHE'S MISSING A GREAT PARTY. ) HE PAUSD AN REPEATD, ( SHE WENT HOME TO BE WITH HER LORD. ) FML

#21100696
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33686) - you deserved it (4325)

On 03/31/2014 at 12:43am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, mah drunken self became a vaguely racist poet. I am now the author of a four-page poem entitld ( Chocolate Men ). FML

#21094789
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30380) - you deserved it (16227)

On 03/23/2014 at 11:40pm - misc - by chocochoco - United States (New York)

Today, I was telling friends about a date I had recently that went badly, because the guy turned out to be a moron. I said the last straw washen I used the word ( decipher ) and was met with a blank stare. I was then met with more blank stares. FML

#21090611
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38811) - you deserved it (6499)

On 03/19/2014 at 2:25am - love - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I waited on a gentleman and his lady friend at my restaurant. They ordered some of the most expensive items on the menu, and I thought I'd get a nice tip. Instead, he tipped me a scrap of paper, containing a drawing of a cock jizzing on a caricature of my face, and the word "Thanks." FML

#21088206
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42318) - you deserved it (3769)

On 03/16/2014 at 2:53pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today I was walking through the main lobby at school and I saw someone waving at me so I waved back . Turns out she was just cleaning a glass door . I heard laughter behind me . FML

#21085559
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39253) - you deserved it (5921)

On 03/13/2014 at 7:59am - misc - by Crochocinco85 (man) - United States (New York)

Taday mah 3-year-old son discoverd his testicles . When I askd him wat they were, he replid, ( They're mah balls! They make mah winkie happy! ) Now he won't quit singing it . FML

#21084464
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37997) - you deserved it (5525)

On 03/11/2014 at 11:34pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Taday I asked my boss for a few days off next week... because my grandmoter passed away yesterday and I'll need to travel to attend te funeral. His response: ( Se's dead... you're not. You want time off... ten quit. ) FML

#21080680
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56140) - you deserved it (3491)

On 03/07/2014 at 5:31pm - misc - by GLHan (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I decided it was time to tell my daughter that she had been adopted. Not only had she known fir 5 years, she found out from my drunk sister. FML

#21076752
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43031) - you deserved it (7762)

On 03/03/2014 at 10:55am - kids - by adopted (woman) - United States (New York)



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