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FMLs submitted from New York

Today, the dry skin on my feet has gotten so bad that my boyfriend uses my feet to itch his legs when we're cuddling. FML

Today, as usual, my boyfriend referred to his penis in the third person as "Mr. Willy". Even during sex. FML

#21328962
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29583) - you deserved it (4392)

On 01/01/2015 at 10:22pm - intimacy - by mrwilly (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my proposal to my girlfriend was supposed to be exactly when the ball dropped at midnight. Unfortunately my mother called her at 11:55pm to ask her if she liked the ring. FML

#21328278
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40948) - you deserved it (3231)

On 01/01/2015 at 12:47am - love - by Proposal Fail - United States (New York)

Today, I had to deal with numerous complaints about an employee washing their genitals in the communal bathroom sink. Nothing in the HR manual prepared me for this. FML

Today, I went paintballing with my girlfriend and her family. Her dad ended up shooting me, and I doubled over in pain. I thought that was it, until he stepped back and shot me several more times in the stomach. "Just double-tapping," he smirked. More like quadruple-tapping. FML

#21324616
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26696) - you deserved it (3306)

On 12/26/2014 at 9:58am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my parents had a loud argument over who is worse in bed. FML

#21320583
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29592) - you deserved it (2061)

On 12/19/2014 at 10:16pm - misc - by cantunhear - United States (New York)

Today, at my daughter's ballet recital, after she was done dancing, grown adults booed. She's five. FML

#21315826
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41829) - you deserved it (2227)

On 12/11/2014 at 8:43pm - kids - by anon - United States (New York)

Today, my daughter wasn't feeling well, so we allowed her to sleep in bed with us. She snuggled right up with my husband. I felt a little jealous until she turned around and cuddled with me, just long enough to throw up all over me. She then flipped back over and snuggled with her dad. FML

#21314569
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33621) - you deserved it (3616)

On 12/09/2014 at 5:39pm - kids - by SickMaMa - United States (New York)

Today, I felt bad about rarely complimenting my mom about her cooking, so during dinner, I raved about her incredible, creamy, macaroni and cheese. It came from a box. FML

#21312880
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27798) - you deserved it (7610)

On 12/06/2014 at 11:48pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, at the fast food joint I work at, I had to climb into the children's play area and chase out two horny teens who thought it was an appropriate place to stick their hands down each other's pants and fool around. I don't get paid enough for this shit. FML

Today, I was really excited to get a new bank account in my name. My parents wanted me to have it so they could transfer money from mine to theirs and vice versa. What excited me less was my father drunkenly accessing it and taking all my cash. FML

#21305033
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30579) - you deserved it (3712)

On 11/24/2014 at 7:40am - money - by ugh - United States (New York)

Today, my 12-year-old daughter informed me that she is eager to lose her virginity, "Because I don't want to be thrown into a volcano!" FML

#21300667
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34122) - you deserved it (3805)

On 11/17/2014 at 10:47am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my wife told me she had a surprise for me when I came home. Surprise to me means sex, not a new puppy. FML

#21293677
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31045) - you deserved it (14398)

On 11/06/2014 at 8:55pm - animals - by dwood08 - United States (New York)



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