Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from New York

Today, I was working a kid's birthday party dressed as a clown. The child's mother made me change because he was scared of clowns. The only thing I had in my car was a princess costume that was owned by a girl co-worker. So for 4 hours I had to entertain in a tight pink dress. I'm a guy. FML

#20913049
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41904) - you deserved it (4472)

On 10/08/2013 at 9:19pm - kids - by Allycat (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend was rubbing my leg. He started laughing and said, "Babe, is this your leg, or am I petting Daisy?" Daisy is my dog. I need to shave. FML

#20910814
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27662) - you deserved it (37471)

On 10/07/2013 at 10:32am - misc - by loserllamalick (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I repeatedly had to ask people to please stop groping the mannequins. FML

Today, my mom and I got the answer to the question, "Is our dog really dumb enough to jump out of the window of a moving vehicle?" The answer: Yes. FML

#20904318
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42716) - you deserved it (5876)

On 10/02/2013 at 2:36am - animals - by BasketGhost - United States (New York)

Today, I found out that the nice guy who comes to my workplace every morning to bring me a smoothie also makes a point of putting his knob in it before giving it to me. Also, all my coworkers knew about this and think it's hilarious. FML

#20895155
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44195) - you deserved it (4164)

On 09/24/2013 at 11:51pm - work - by littledipper - United States (New York)

Today, I had to explain to my son why it is not okay to slap old women's butts. He's 16. FML

#20894598
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34233) - you deserved it (4312)

On 09/24/2013 at 5:01pm - kids - by mandm - United States (New York)

Today, I had to show my daughter where the USA is on a map. She's 17, and we live in the USA. FML

#20889279
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43429) - you deserved it (9984)

On 09/20/2013 at 6:45pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, at a family party, my uncles were complimenting my mom on her pies. I cooked them. She took all the credit. FML

#20883979
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41248) - you deserved it (3219)

On 09/16/2013 at 5:03pm - misc - by zachadams - United States (New York)

Today, my son asked me if slavery was ever abolished. He's 19. FML

#20883742
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41949) - you deserved it (6734)

On 09/16/2013 at 1:42pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, the guy on the floor above me decided it was time for a tuba jam session. Apparently optimal tuba time is 2am. FML

#20881873
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40132) - you deserved it (2687)

On 09/15/2013 at 2:02am - misc - by sleeplessinrichmond - United States (New York)

Today, my new creative writing teacher informed the class that we should consult him before writing anything "dark or disturbing." I only took the class because my therapist recommended that I join the class so I could freely express my darker thoughts without her help or a fear of being judged. FML

#20866346
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35339) - you deserved it (2631)

On 09/03/2013 at 5:43pm - misc - by depressed (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my wife appropriated our savings to finance her crazy, midlife crisis idea of designing and marketing Cheez Whiz dildos. FML

#20860571
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38749) - you deserved it (3200)

On 08/30/2013 at 5:05pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out that I'm the creepy uncle of the family. FML

#20860109
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41050) - you deserved it (14510)

On 08/30/2013 at 8:33am - misc - by charlieg9 (man) - United States (New York)



FML's blog

  • Angie's illustrated FML
  • Here we go again. This week I'm talking to you live from the Paris Japan Expo. I'm dressed up as Bernard from the Sailor Moon series, and I almost got kicked out because my katana wasn't the…

Friday 3 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: