Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from New York

Today, a woman bitched me out at the grocery store, saying that since I'm not Indian, I shouldn't be wearing a bindi - a red dot on my forehead - because it's "cultural appropriation". I was too embarrassed to tell her it was actually a pimple I'd been trying to pop on my forehead. FML

#21428154
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29942) - you deserved it (2647)

On 06/18/2015 at 4:09pm - misc - by unsuccessful popping - United States (New York)

Today, I'm actually starting to miss my former heroin addict neighbor because of how mellow he was compared to my new neighbors. FML

#21427797
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26285) - you deserved it (2087)

On 06/17/2015 at 10:07pm - money - by Rusty (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I decided to go thrifting to save some money. Ironically, I ended up having to pay for an emergency trip to the hospital because somebody was too lazy to wash the cat hair off their clothes. I'm severely allergic to cats. FML

#21425208
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23279) - you deserved it (8250)

On 06/12/2015 at 10:41pm - misc - by alyssaamarante - United States (New York)

Today, my mother told me to take a quick shower. When I got out, she told me I took too long, and now I have to pay the utilities bill. My shower was two minutes long. FML

#21425187
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25543) - you deserved it (1764)

On 06/12/2015 at 9:56pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I was out for a walk, wearing a T-shirt with a fist on it and the words "Bump it." A guy came up to me, looked at my shirt, shrugged, and punched me in the stomach. FML

#21424919
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24333) - you deserved it (10265)

On 06/12/2015 at 9:42am - health - by fisted (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I threw a bonfire for my birthday. My boyfriend managed to set my leg on fire by throwing his liquor bottle into the fire. Happy birthday to me. FML

#21422985
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24169) - you deserved it (2241)

On 06/08/2015 at 7:38pm - love - by firehurts - United States (New York)

Today, I found out my husband potty trained my stubborn three year old son who prefers diapers. He managed this by peeing with him and "sword-fighting" with their urine streams. I now have to clean pee off the ground every time he urinates. FML

#21421959
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25174) - you deserved it (2237)

On 06/06/2015 at 9:17pm - kids - by diapersplease (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I have food poisoning. My boss told me that if I didn't come into work, I'd be fired. Not 30 minutes after sitting down, I sneezed and shat my pants. My boss still won't let me leave. FML

#21421576
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29476) - you deserved it (2000)

On 06/06/2015 at 12:20am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out the reason my co-workers have been giving me gum every day is not because of their generosity, but because everyone in the office thinks my breath smells. FML

#21411436
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22913) - you deserved it (10266)

On 05/17/2015 at 12:13pm - work - by smellynelly (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I woke up so hungover that when I went to the bathroom and caught sight of myself in the mirror, I screamed, slipped backwards, and smashed my head against the rim of my bathtub. FML

#21410586
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21713) - you deserved it (10503)

On 05/15/2015 at 4:26pm - health - by hedayk - United States (New York)

Today, I got screamed at to the point of tears by a Starbucks employee for "giving an obviously fake name" to confuse one of the employees. I told her my real name. My name is Ian. FML

#21404461
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32013) - you deserved it (2350)

On 05/04/2015 at 12:28pm - misc - by to_complicated_4_u - United States (New York)

Today, I had to explain to my 23-year-old female friend that when I get my hysterectomy, I will still be able to poop. FML

#21398063
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23748) - you deserved it (1846)

On 04/22/2015 at 5:46pm - health - by biomajor99 - United States (New York)

Today, I discovered why my pet bird has been hiding behind my couch pillow lately. It's not because she was nesting, as I thought. She's been secretly tearing apart the whole couch from behind there instead. FML

#21395798
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26196) - you deserved it (4416)

On 04/18/2015 at 3:34pm - animals - by thisisnotavirustrustme.exe (woman) - United States (New York)



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: