FMLs submitted from New York

Today, my coworker got angry at a mean customer. She came to the back, where I work, and started punching the wall repeatedly. When I tried to intervene and stop her from breaking her hand she punched me in the stomach and uppercut me. FML

by justhatelife / 12/09/2016 at 9:49am / United States (New York) / Work

Today, my cat jumped out a fourth-story window when I went to pet her. FML

by no / 12/08/2016 at 9:37am / United States (New York) / Animals

Today, it's been two years since I graduated with my master's. It's also been the same amount of time since I've been looking for a job. I got an e-mail yesterday from a company for a telephone interview which I was happy about. The day of the interview, my phone is disconnected. FML

by heaventlyassbutt / 11/30/2016 at 7:45am / United States (New York) / Work

Today, on Thanksgiving, I asked my kid what she is thankful for. "My tablet." I had just told her I was thankful for her. FML

by Anonymous / 11/24/2016 at 8:17am / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, while on vacation, my brother asked a native of the area for help. Once he got it, he thanked them with "muchos gracias" in the best Spanish accent he could do. We're in Japan. FML

by thismustbewhyivestrivedtobesmart / 11/15/2016 at 1:25pm / United States (New York) / Holidays

Today, my daughter, whom I consigned a credit card for, told me she was in a bit of financial trouble. It turns out that she was trying to pay off her credit card with the same credit card her bill was for, and couldn't figure out why it wasn't working. FML

by Oy Vay / 11/14/2016 at 1:09am / United States (New York) / Money

Today, I needed to cut something open so I asked my roommate to toss me my pocket knife from the counter. Apparently, he heard, "Open the knife then toss me it." FML

by timetraveler1854 / 11/02/2016 at 8:55pm / United States (New York) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't have to sit on campus so long to print it all out. It just got delivered in Arizona today. I live in New York. FML

by wtf / 10/19/2016 at 8:09am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he got me fired. Looks like my calendar is clear. FML

by HRomero / 10/17/2016 at 9:17am / United States (New York) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my girlfriend of five months told me that she had booked us reservations to our town's Halloween barbecue party. When I reminded her that I'm vegan, she told me she specifically got the reservations to help me to quit my "stupid fad". Weird, I never knew being a devout Hindu was a fad. FML

by Cow lover / 10/12/2016 at 10:13am / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I turned on my furnace when I got home from work for the first time this season. Only problem? Cats. Our kitten Norman has never heard a furnace in his life and Noel has just forgotten what a furnace sounds like. Both cats are terrified and won't stop yelping. I just want to sleep. FML

by chrisinator / 10/11/2016 at 12:21am / United States (New York) / Animals

Today, I confessed my feelings to the only man I've ever loved. He asked me for dating advice. FML

by hopeless / 10/07/2016 at 4:28pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, my husband brought me breakfast in bed. Don't get me wrong, I'm very thankful and love him even more for the thought. But the only problem with breakfast in bed is that you have to eat what they bring you, even if it's bad. FML

by B.B / 10/07/2016 at 10:03am / United States (New York) / Love