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FMLs submitted from New York

Today, I found out my upstairs neighbors filed a noise complaint against me for banging on the ceiling every night. They conveniently left out the part where they constantly stomp, shout, and do stuff that sounds like they're dropping bricks to the floor every night. FML

#21377727
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26595) - you deserved it (2471)

On 03/19/2015 at 11:56am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my mom and I made the bad decision to go hiking for some mother-daughter bonding even though we had little experience. My mother tumbled down a mountain named Tumbledown and I couldn't even enjoy the irony because I had to half carry her all the way back to the car. FML

#21375957
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26633) - you deserved it (3064)

On 03/16/2015 at 8:56pm - health - by manderpander21 - United States (New York)

Today, I was walking my dog. Suddenly, my insane neighbor who loves dogs a bit too much comes over and asks to pet my dog. I say OK, thinking that if I watch her, she won't do anything. I turn around to make sure no cars are coming and when I turn back, she's trying to steal my dog. FML

Today, I was given a new responsibility at the law firm where I work. I'm now in charge of punching holes in every single piece of paper to be found in the office, estimated to be in the hundred-thousands. The reason? I finish my daily clerical work too quickly. FML

#21372587
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24960) - you deserved it (2145)

On 03/11/2015 at 4:15pm - work - by KillMePlease (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I moved into my new apartment. As I sat in my living room watching Netflix, I found out that my window has an excellent view of my new neighbors, who just so happen to like to shag with the blinds open. I guess I'll be buying some curtains. FML

#21370722
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26016) - you deserved it (2762)

On 03/08/2015 at 9:05pm - intimacy - by curtain buyer - United States (New York)

Today, my wife complained that the coffee grounds I swept into the sink grossed her out. Yesterday, I removed several panty-liners from her soiled underwear before doing the laundry. FML

#21368886
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35394) - you deserved it (2401)

On 03/05/2015 at 8:34pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, a man asked me for directions outside of a local store. After about five minutes into the conversation, I noticed he had whipped his penis out and was stroking it. He then asked me if I liked what I saw. FML

#21362166
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35769) - you deserved it (2794)

On 02/23/2015 at 10:46pm - intimacy - by sammy18f (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, trying to do a good deed, I gave a homeless guy a $10 bill. As I walked away, he yelled after me, "You fucking bitch!" FML

#21361049
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29085) - you deserved it (3037)

On 02/22/2015 at 1:21pm - money - by HaliMali (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my new boyfriend with whom I'm completely smitten called me and told me he had an early Valentine's Day gift for me. Gonorrhea. FML

#21353835
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34144) - you deserved it (4022)

On 02/11/2015 at 1:25am - intimacy - by Yupppp. (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my mom called me an attention seeker and threw a bitch fit because my cat "decided" to die on her birthday. FML

#21351283
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31411) - you deserved it (2083)

On 02/07/2015 at 12:13am - animals - by juliette (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my mom accused me of smoking weed. Truth is, I'd just ripped the quietest and weirdest smelling fart of my life. She wouldn't believe me, accused me of making stupid excuses up, and grounded me. FML

#21350938
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27990) - you deserved it (2536)

On 02/06/2015 at 1:51pm - misc - by valarmorgoolies (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I got hit between the legs with a kayak. FML

Today, instead of taking down the Christmas tree, my sister covered it with Valentine's Day decorations. FML



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