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FMLs submitted from New York

Today, a man asked me for directions outside of a local store. After about five minutes into the conversation, I noticed he had whipped his penis out and was stroking it. He then asked me if I liked what I saw. FML

#21362166
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34137) - you deserved it (2740)

On 02/23/2015 at 10:46pm - intimacy - by sammy18f (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, trying to do a good deed, I gave a homeless guy a $10 bill. As I walked away, he yelled after me, "You fucking bitch!" FML

#21361049
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28609) - you deserved it (3026)

On 02/22/2015 at 1:21pm - money - by HaliMali (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my new boyfriend with whom I'm completely smitten called me and told me he had an early Valentine's Day gift for me. Gonorrhea. FML

#21353835
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33728) - you deserved it (4009)

On 02/11/2015 at 1:25am - intimacy - by Yupppp. (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my mom called me an attention seeker and threw a bitch fit because my cat "decided" to die on her birthday. FML

#21351283
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31330) - you deserved it (2077)

On 02/07/2015 at 12:13am - animals - by juliette (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my mom accused me of smoking weed. Truth is, I'd just ripped the quietest and weirdest smelling fart of my life. She wouldn't believe me, accused me of making stupid excuses up, and grounded me. FML

#21350938
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27947) - you deserved it (2534)

On 02/06/2015 at 1:51pm - misc - by valarmorgoolies (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I got hit between the legs with a kayak. FML

Today, instead of taking down the Christmas tree, my sister covered it with Valentine's Day decorations. FML

Today, my dad was looking for a flashlight in my bedroom. He trashed the place, which I'd just cleaned. Turns out the flashlight was in his bedroom. Then I got a 10 minute lecture on how I was such a slob and I should take more care of my bedroom. FML

#21338508
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30675) - you deserved it (2149)

On 01/16/2015 at 8:47pm - misc - by moonchic - United States (New York)

Today, my little brother walked in on me and my girlfriend having sex and threatened to tell my parents. I paid him $30 to keep quiet. 15 minutes later he told them. FML

#21335701
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32826) - you deserved it (11757)

On 01/12/2015 at 11:43am - intimacy - by bowler99 - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend and I had 'car sex'. It sucked and resulted in him masturbating into a McDonald's bag. FML

#21335578
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29997) - you deserved it (5894)

On 01/12/2015 at 2:56am - intimacy - by briiiiiiii123 - United States (New York)

Today, I got a yeast infection, caused by the antibiotics for my UTI. I got the UTI after having sex for the first time in a year. A couple of minutes of sex have ruined my health. FML

#21334755
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26604) - you deserved it (3845)

On 01/10/2015 at 10:21pm - health - by so much for romance - United States (New York)

Today, the dry skin on my feet has gotten so bad that my boyfriend uses my feet to itch his legs when we're cuddling. FML

Today, as usual, my boyfriend referred to his penis in the third person as "Mr. Willy". Even during sex. FML

#21328962
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27776) - you deserved it (3772)

On 01/01/2015 at 10:22pm - intimacy - by mrwilly (woman) - United States (New York)



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