Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from New South Wales

Today, my maths teacher was giving my whole class a lecture on 'if you don't pay attention at school, you will fail.' She then pointed out out a man working on the roof and said: 'if you don't listen, you will end up like that guy.' That was my dad. FML

#14596121
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49010) - you deserved it (3183)

On 01/16/2011 at 12:07am - misc - by paperbox (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boyfriend decided it would be fun to sit on my lap. In the process he landed on me so hard that he made me hit my head. Then when he turned around his elbow smacked into my nose causing it to break. FML

#14530558
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29460) - you deserved it (3047)

On 01/10/2011 at 5:35am - health - by dinosaur - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my mum is convinced I'm a hoarder. While I was out of the house, she went through my room and threw out stuff I "don't need." This included $500 worth of textbooks, a flash drive with crucial work on it, and my phone charger. FML

#14518495
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38694) - you deserved it (2931)

On 01/09/2011 at 6:38am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I went to the beach. After applying sunscreen liberally and doing my best to stay out of the sun, I came home with the worst sunburn I have ever had. I almost needed to go to the hospital. I am officially too pale to be allowed outside in summer. FML

#14518373
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27568) - you deserved it (4071)

On 01/09/2011 at 6:11am - health - by whitey (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while on my break at work, my workmates convinced me to perform my "Indian accent" piece. Everyone laughed while I was doing it. Everyone, that is, but my Indian boss. FML

#14507132
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8794) - you deserved it (38630)

On 01/08/2011 at 10:15am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I took my daughter to the library instead of the pool. I sat her on the counter and, while I reached for my library card, she turned to the librarian and said "We didn't go to the pool today because Mum has hairy legs." FML

#14459549
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27866) - you deserved it (12931)

On 01/04/2011 at 3:05am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my little sister put on some black eyeliner on my eyes. About half an hour later, my eyes started to hurt. Eyeliner never hurt for me; so I went to the bathroom to check it out. My sister wasn't using eyeliner. It was a black watercolor pencil. Now I have black bits inside my eyes. FML

#14430007
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27654) - you deserved it (6020)

On 01/01/2011 at 9:48pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I finally went running to help me start losing weight. I got 50 metres before someone in a passing car shouted out "Run fatty, run". I can't work up the courage to go for a run again. FML

#14391012
268 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42004) - you deserved it (7196)

On 12/30/2010 at 2:14am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I went on my first date in months. My mum had invited friends over, and when I told them I was going out on a date, my mum said "No you're not, don't lie. Who would go out with you?" FML

#14380374
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34391) - you deserved it (2977)

On 12/29/2010 at 8:01am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I swapped a shift so I didn't have to work on new year's eve. An hour later I realized I didn't have anyone to spend it with. I swapped it back. I'll be ringing in the new year with my boss. FML

#14379512
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23790) - you deserved it (4082)

On 12/29/2010 at 5:18am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boyfriend and I were arguing about how he was too busy for me. During that conversation, he was texting his best friend and then called by his brother to drive him home. Instead of returning to finish our conversation, he left to prepare for his fishing trip with his mates tomorrow. FML

#14081508
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26145) - you deserved it (5817)

On 12/04/2010 at 7:03am - love - by anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my brand new iPhone 4 was stolen from my bag. I asked the bartender if anyone had handed it in. I soon found out that while I was talking to her, someone swiped my wallet from the bag too. FML

#13908824
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27960) - you deserved it (7991)

On 11/20/2010 at 5:40am - misc - by misc (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I finally made out with my boyfriend. Let's just say his idea of making out is moving his tongue like a lizard. FML

#13907049
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32579) - you deserved it (4938)

On 11/20/2010 at 1:20am - love - by lorrilanee (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)



FML's blog

  • Eni's illustrated FML
  • Greetings worshipers of lines and colours! This week, with the help of a talented young illustrator we’re checking kids out. No, not like that. Damn, that sounded bad. We’re taking a different look a…

Friday 12 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: