FMLs submitted from New South Wales

Today, my boyfriend of four years broke up with me because he wanted some independence. He moved back into his parents house. FML

by independence / 07/07/2011 at 12:04am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love

Today, my girlfriend who was planning on waiting until marriage for sex decided to have sex with me. It's been 4 hours and she hasn't stopped crying, praying and calling me the devil's temptation. FML

by devilboy / 07/06/2011 at 7:26am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy

Today, I had to make a deal with my 22 year old fiancé. What was the deal? If he put deodorant on, he could squeeze my boob for as long as he liked. FML

by NYMTS / 07/01/2011 at 7:22pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy

Today, I'm a graduate but still an unpaid intern. My daily work is folding letters and putting them into envelopes. The sad thing is, I actually enjoy doing it. FML

by Anonymous / 06/22/2011 at 8:36pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Work

Today, I saw myself on the news. I was one of the random passers by they had filmed for their story on the "Fat Epidemic." FML

by Username / 06/19/2011 at 5:51am / Australia (New South Wales) / Health

Today, my boss gave me an "All you need to know about grammar" book. FML

by illiterate / 06/17/2011 at 12:16am / Australia (New South Wales) / Work

Today, my sister drove past me while i was walking home in the rain, she honked to let me know she was there, and kept on driving. FML

by myhairgetsfrizzywhenwet / 06/03/2011 at 4:55am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, I read my university's newsletter. Apparently we're starting up a "buddy" system for international students. I'm signing up, because this will help me complete my goal of making my first friend at university. FML

by loner / 05/31/2011 at 1:50am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, I made a fresh juice for a customer. He called the cops because the juice was too acidic for him. He sat in a corner and waited for two hours for them to arrive. Obviously, they didn't turn up. So he yelled at me and left. FML

by Alice / 05/27/2011 at 1:46am / Australia (New South Wales) / Work

Today, as I was walking back inside I noticed my mop leaning on the wall next to my door. I picked it up and started slow dancing with it, imagining it was the girl I'm in love with. I didn't notice my neighbours bunched up at their window laughing. FML

by anonymous / 05/04/2011 at 6:01am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realised that what I had thought was my dad's default state for the past 17 years is actually his drunken state. FML

by Violet / 04/19/2011 at 5:50am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband and I were diagnosed with herpes. We've been together for five years and were both virgins before. Even the doctor couldn't give any other explanation. FML

by bumpyroad / 04/17/2011 at 10:29am / Australia (New South Wales) / Health

Today, a young boy helped me carry my groceries home. He then asked me to sign his sheet to certify that he had done half an hour of service to the elderly. I'm 46. FML

by ::Tracy:: / 04/17/2011 at 5:32am / Australia (New South Wales) / Kids