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FMLs submitted from New South Wales

Today, my doctor asked for a urine sample. It's the first time I've tried to cup my own pee. Despite the fact that I'm a woman, I managed to aim wrong, and sprayed the floor, hit the door and my handbag with my own pee. FML

#17584076
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19774) - you deserved it (14683)

On 08/26/2011 at 5:09am - health - by goldengirl - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, after waiting 3 months, I finally got my wedding dress back from the dry-cleaners. The dry cleaning lasted longer than the marriage. FML

#17583056
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36336) - you deserved it (9448)

On 08/26/2011 at 1:28am - love - by justmyluck - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was getting a bit intimate with my boyfriend. Just when things were getting interesting, my dog managed to get into my room. He jumped on the bed and my boyfriend spent the next 20 minutes playing with the dog, while I sat next to him, half naked. FML

#17575324
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28331) - you deserved it (4180)

On 08/25/2011 at 3:12am - intimacy - by Puppy Loverr - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was dancing with the 4 hottest girls I've ever seen at a club, and I fainted. FML

#17506139
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31858) - you deserved it (8241)

On 08/18/2011 at 1:18am - health - by gb - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was caught and fined for picking a lock. I have OCD. I was picking the padlock on a toilet paper holder in a public toilet because the roll was the wrong way round. FML

#17487298
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33688) - you deserved it (13444)

On 08/16/2011 at 2:27am - misc - by Anon - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was using a public urinal when a man came up to use the one next to me. As he approached, he said, "Friendly spy plane inbound" and pretended to look at my knob. FML

#17448380
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27105) - you deserved it (2652)

On 08/12/2011 at 6:40am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was helping clean my grandpa's garage when I found some of his old election posters from the '50s. They included slogans such as, "Dick: you know it feels right" and "Want growth? Choose Dick." I'm not sure whether to be disgusted or impressed. FML

#17279382
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28946) - you deserved it (4445)

On 07/27/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Nick (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, someone came over and told my mother, "I'm your son's friend Morris, I need to get something out of his car", so she gave him the keys. I have no friend called Morris, and now I don't have a sound system either. FML

#17266001
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39391) - you deserved it (3191)

On 07/26/2011 at 9:35am - misc - by ceetee - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, the police were canvassing my neighbourhood about a recent robbery. When I answered the door, my brother saw badges, panicked, and jumped out our apartment's third-storey window in an attempt to escape. He thought they were after him for using a bong two weeks ago. I'm related to this twit. FML

#17252613
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34532) - you deserved it (3381)

On 07/25/2011 at 10:10am - misc - by Bec (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boyfriend told me my vagina looks like an old man in a hat. It's OK though, he said it was a nice hat. FML

#17187875
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39316) - you deserved it (5378)

On 07/20/2011 at 5:17am - intimacy - by growlr - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my six year old son came up to me with his arms spread and said, "I feel like a hug." I got really excited and hopeful because he is very anti-social and hates physical contact. As soon as I stood up to hug him he said "Feeling's gone" and walked away. FML

#17134448
275 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39670) - you deserved it (4272)

On 07/16/2011 at 9:28am - kids - by Rejected (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boyfriend of four years broke up with me because he wanted some independence. He moved back into his parents house. FML

#17008164
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33088) - you deserved it (3323)

On 07/07/2011 at 12:04am - love - by independence (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my girlfriend who was planning on waiting until marriage for sex decided to have sex with me. It's been 4 hours and she hasn't stopped crying, praying and calling me the devil's temptation. FML

#16998038
361 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53749) - you deserved it (16813)

On 07/06/2011 at 7:26am - intimacy - by devilboy - Australia (New South Wales)



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