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FMLs submitted from New South Wales

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. My mum walked in and told him to pull out and show her that he was wearing a condom, and not just saying he was. FML

#18200253
259 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57041) - you deserved it (8449)

On 11/09/2011 at 7:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I found the same spider which I had let live yesterday hidden in my bath towel. I didn't find it until it was smeared on my face. FML

#18172214
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30306) - you deserved it (11468)

On 11/06/2011 at 7:17am - animals - by dre_bro11 - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was fired for the second time in as many days. I received a letter notifying me that I would no longer be working for the company, effective immediately. When I did not attend work the next day, I received a phone call firing me for not turning up. FML

#18153338
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28577) - you deserved it (2294)

On 11/04/2011 at 12:04am - work - by fired (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boyfriend admitted that the only reason he remembers my eye color is because it's the same shade of his shit after he's had a salad. FML

#18121591
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32866) - you deserved it (3240)

On 10/31/2011 at 4:06pm - love - by poopcoloredeyes (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I caught my best friend in bed with my current boyfriend. Apparently watching movies naked is "the new in thing". FML

#18101426
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36888) - you deserved it (2684)

On 10/29/2011 at 3:22am - love - by backstabbed - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I found my "lost" bicycle in my best friend's garage. I've been having to catch two buses to get to work for the past few months. FML

#18029940
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23869) - you deserved it (2570)

On 10/20/2011 at 7:51am - misc - by jwhizzle - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my parents had a fight as to which one of them is the most cultured. As a result, they've begun writing my chore lists in a variety of languages. If I don't do them, I'm grounded. I only speak English. FML

#18025150
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24848) - you deserved it (2894)

On 10/19/2011 at 6:29pm - misc - by Missy - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, after a stressful series of events, I went to the beach to unwind. I sat on the sand, breathed in deeply and closed my eyes, trying to find some sort of inner peace. Then a seagull shat on me. FML

#18021693
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28861) - you deserved it (3042)

On 10/19/2011 at 5:40am - misc - by targe - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was threatened with suspension from school because of my nose piercing. I had to explain that it's actually a pimple. FML

#17960494
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35081) - you deserved it (2513)

On 10/11/2011 at 4:05pm - health - by top dog! - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I came home from work to find the front door wide open, the stove on, my 5 year old cutting up the curtain, and my 2 year old smearing chocolate sauce on the floor. My fiancé was nowhere to be found. Later on, I got a text from him saying that he'd gone to watch the footy. FML

Today, I was pulled over by the police. The cop was my ex-boyfriend. He had no legitimate reason to pull me over, so he thoroughly checked my car. He gave me a defect notice and a fine. What for? A broken door lock, on my rear passenger door. FML

#17927232
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32071) - you deserved it (4086)

On 10/07/2011 at 11:07am - misc - by jkass - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I finished a website that I have been working on for ages for a friend. He tried to repay me by offering to teach me to play table tennis. FML

#17909983
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21617) - you deserved it (3729)

On 10/05/2011 at 6:49am - work - by Matt - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I learned no matter how much your friends pressure you, you must never snort lines of curry powder. FML



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