FMLs submitted from New South Wales

Today, some kid decided to pee in the kids' play area at work. Because I was the shortest employee working at the time, I got to climb through the area to mop it up, while all the kids pointed and laughed at me. FML

by Anonymous / 09/26/2012 at 1:37pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Work

Today, my roommate decided to turn off all appliances in the house to "save" electricity. This included the refrigerator. FML

by Jograd / 09/25/2012 at 1:13pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, my roommate came out of the bathroom, and asked me how the scales knew her weight in both pounds and kilos, even though "the exchange rate is always changing." I actually live with this idiot. FML

by ak_6694 / 09/22/2012 at 3:29am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I went over to my girlfriend's house. She'd told me not to ring the doorbell and just come in so that I wouldn't wake her dad up. As I walked upstairs, her father walked out of the bathroom naked. We locked eyes. I can't get the image out of my head. FML

by Burntintomyretinas / 09/19/2012 at 12:40am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out my little brother is a highly committed Nazi. He goes to meetings and everything, my parents think it's great he is "getting out and developing a social life." FML

by he is going to hell / 09/18/2012 at 5:46pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, at school, a guy walked up to me and said I look a little too young to be at high school. I told him that I'm sixteen years old. He stared at my chest for several long seconds, muttered "What the fuck?" and walked off. FML

by wtf yourself, cunt / 09/17/2012 at 7:14pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, after moving in with a couple of vegan zoologists a few weeks ago, I discover that they don't believe that we have the right to kill cockroaches, and will not allow me to do so. The house is infested, and it's spread to my bedroom. FML

by Stevski / 09/11/2012 at 11:08am / Australia (New South Wales) / Health

Today, I was talking to an art critic at an exhibition. He told me that the artist had no talent and went on to tell me everything wrong with each painting. I'd painted them all. FML

by the bad artist / 09/09/2012 at 8:12pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Work

Today, my mum found out she's pregnant. I would be happy for her, if she knew who the father was. FML

by Anonymous / 09/06/2012 at 6:21pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Health

Today, I had to give a speech as part of my campaign for school captain. I was rather happy with it and so I told another candidate my speech. Apparently it was a good idea as minutes later that same candidate stole my entire speech, leaving me looking like a complete idiot. FML

by anonymous / 09/05/2012 at 9:51am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was in a terrific mood after finding a bouquet of beautiful flowers on my doorstep when I came home. That is, until I recognised the handwriting of my "secret admirer" was the same as my mother's. FML

by mfnfhdjdjddjsjfn / 09/03/2012 at 4:39am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love

Today, I received a call from my future sister in-law, telling me that she and her future husband had decided to hold their wedding ceremony on my birthday. I was told not to celebrate my birthday, as it would "take away the attention to the true meaning of the day." FML

by SuzyTurquoiseBlu / 08/29/2012 at 1:32am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I wore an expensive vintage blazer which I'd purchased at a market in Paris. Turns out my colleague has the exact same one, only hers is from a clearance rack at Target. FML

by arh / 08/27/2012 at 8:10pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous