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FMLs submitted from New South Wales

Today, I found out my girlfriend is only with me because I'm a mechanic and I fix her constantly broken-down car for free. FML

#20038129
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26468) - you deserved it (2477)

On 08/23/2012 at 8:05pm - love - by hustled - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, the whole family came over to celebrate my 18th birthday. My grandfather bought me a giant mathematics book. Apparently, he didn't want my 16 year old sister to be "jealous", so he got her the new iPad. FML

#20027507
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34452) - you deserved it (1951)

On 08/18/2012 at 12:51am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my son displayed an interest in chess, and asked me to teach him to play. Five minutes in, I captured his queen. He screamed "SCREW THIS STUPID GAME", slammed his fist down on his pieces, and started crying because of the pain. He's fourteen years old. FML

#20019380
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25219) - you deserved it (4425)

On 08/13/2012 at 8:55pm - kids - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I cleaned the toilet so vigorously that I snapped the handle of the brush. I laughed and told the rest of my family. Instead of joining in on the hilarity, my mother screamed, "We have had that toilet brush for twenty-six years!" FML

#19995981
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29551) - you deserved it (2888)

On 08/01/2012 at 3:59am - misc - by SLAB_GIRL15 - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my OCD boyfriend stopped mid-way through sex just to crack all ten of his knuckles after accidentally cracking one. FML

#19990567
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30462) - you deserved it (4642)

On 07/29/2012 at 9:34am - intimacy - by anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my 4-year-old son cut half of my hair when I was asleep because he thought I would look better that way. FML

#19990341
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25075) - you deserved it (3244)

On 07/29/2012 at 4:11am - kids - by ellieowenie - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was speaking to my mother on the phone, when she mentioned that my dad had surprised her last week with a pearl necklace. Before I could quite grasp what was going on, I'd popped a boner and visualised the scene. What the hell is wrong with me? FML

#19987975
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12675) - you deserved it (42366)

On 07/27/2012 at 8:30pm - intimacy - by clayton (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my mother screamed at my brother for ages for playing a Nicki Minaj music video. She said it's "terrible, demonic garbage" that'll get us "spitroasted in Hell". I don't even disagree with the first part, but she does this kind of thing every single day when I get home from my night job. FML

#19938478
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20553) - you deserved it (2306)

On 07/14/2012 at 8:22pm - misc - by arghgffhdfg (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I had eight teeth removed in preparation for getting my braces fitted. My winter break will now consists of barely being able to sleep or eat, tasting blood, and looking like a goofy-ass chipmunk. FML

#19900081
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24386) - you deserved it (2318)

On 07/06/2012 at 1:11pm - misc - by Julie is in pain (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I let my daughter bake a cake for her brother's fifth birthday party. She showed up later with a cake in the shape of a cock and balls. Apparently it's okay, though, because "I frosted it to look like a rocket, hehehe!" I can't believe my balls spawned this moron. FML

#19867387
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24555) - you deserved it (6455)

On 06/29/2012 at 5:39pm - misc - by Nick (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was arrested for drinking in public. It was my friend who was drinking; I was taking the alcohol from her so she wouldn't be arrested. FML

#19816432
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29329) - you deserved it (5068)

On 06/20/2012 at 1:03am - misc - by meeks123 - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I realised that my boyfriend calls me "bitch" more often than he calls me by my actual name. FML

Today, my psychiatrist asked me if I felt bad about my weight. When I said no, he looked surprised and said, "Why not?" FML

#19786105
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29183) - you deserved it (4802)

On 06/14/2012 at 7:26am - misc - by ouch - Australia (New South Wales)



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