FMLs submitted from New South Wales

Today, I thought my knee hurt because of over exercising in the gym. Then I remembered it was because I smacked it against my chair so hard I crumbled down and couldn't move for 5 minutes. And how I remembered? I did it again. FML

by rnw / 07/21/2016 at 1:34am / Australia (New South Wales) / Health

Today, I set up a hidden camera in my room so I could prove that my sister beats me up when my parents aren't home, since they always accuse me of lying about it. When I showed them, they wasted no time accusing me of "provoking" her off-camera. FML

by Anonymous / 07/01/2016 at 10:10am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked into pawn shop and found a nice laptop which I inspected after I thought I lost mine months ago. Turns out my ex pawned it after having it at her place all this time. FML

by Al / 06/13/2016 at 11:37am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love

Today, I'm taking care of my 12-year-old daughter because my ex-wife thought she could cure our daughter's lactose intolerance by sneaking milk into her soy breakfast. The milk had expired. FML

by reasonablysingle / 06/10/2016 at 11:27pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today my coworker, who I'm secretly in love with, asked me what my plans for the weekend were. I thought she might have been about to ask me out, so I said that I had no plans. She then rolled her eyes and said that she hates talking to, "boring people who shut down every conversation starter." FML

by Anonymous / 05/25/2016 at 3:53am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love

Today, a woman threw a sandwich at me, told me to go back to "fucktard island" and demanded to see my manager. All because the mayonnaise sandwich she ordered, shockingly enough, had mayonnaise in it. FML

by xoxo_retailslave420_xoxo / 05/21/2016 at 8:57am / Australia (New South Wales) / Work

Today, while playing hockey, one of my teammates decided to swing her hockey stick like a golf club. She missed the ball, but managed to hit me right in the vagina. FML

by bruised / 05/19/2016 at 4:54pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Health

Today, I was at work when a customer came up to me and asked where and what I used to get my tan. I'm Indian. FML

by shrutisoma / 05/12/2016 at 12:54am / Australia (New South Wales) / Work

Today, after having a second interview with a club I want to work for, the interviewer ignored my work references. Instead, he told me he was going to call the only manager I never got along with, for reference in a job I left 5 years ago, because he knows her personally. FML

by prince232 / 05/04/2016 at 12:34am / Australia (New South Wales) / Work

Today, I had to tell the third guy that my mother set me up with that it wasn't him, it's me. Apparently my mother thinks if she sets me up with enough guys, I will "date the gay out". FML

by out of the closet / 04/25/2016 at 8:22pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Love

Today, I had a date with an amazing girl so in the shower I wanted to make sure I was extra clean. With the soaped up shower puff in hand I tried to get as much of my back as I could which led to me pushing too far and dislocating my shoulder. FML

by too eager / 04/25/2016 at 11:21am / Australia (New South Wales) / Health

Today, my family is flying to Hawaii for a longed-for holiday. Well, my husband and children are; I'm in a hospital bed awaiting surgery on kidney stones that I never knew I had. Hopefully they'll send me a postcard. FML

by Drover7 / 04/07/2016 at 7:26pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Holidays

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, a classmate at college accused me of stalking her. All because I walked past her house. I was walking to the supermarket. FML

by Anonymous / 03/19/2016 at 2:10am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous