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FMLs submitted from New South Wales

Today, I am still finding glitter in my ass crack after a concert last night that had a confetti cannon. Thanks Marilyn Manson, I feel so metal now. FML

#21363653
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13835) - you deserved it (2808)

On 02/25/2015 at 11:21pm - misc - by fredi - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I received a bunch of flowers from my 'lover'. This would be fine except that I don't have a lover, and my boyfriend now thinks I'm cheating. FML

#21357201
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30476) - you deserved it (2356)

On 02/16/2015 at 7:57am - love - by anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I found out my dad ate my rabbit when I was 6 years old. He'd told me it ran away. I can't be mad at my dad; he's been dead for 5 years. FML

#21353772
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32307) - you deserved it (2317)

On 02/10/2015 at 11:34pm - animals - by jackskellington - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I won a game of Monopoly against my girlfriend. She reacted by sweeping the board off the table, storming out the front door, and mowing down my mailbox driving away. FML

#21352803
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31170) - you deserved it (3739)

On 02/09/2015 at 3:42pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I woke up with my penis taped inside a milk bottle. Yes, I'm as baffled as you are. FML

#21350665
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29146) - you deserved it (4810)

On 02/05/2015 at 11:14pm - misc - by Milked Richard (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was playing Charades. My boyfriend, who I'd recently had a fight with, had trouble and just said his answer was the name of my celebrity twin. Nobody got it. He said "Really? It's Fat Bastard." Stunned silence followed, broken by a single "HAH." from my 'best friend'. FML

#21340816
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29365) - you deserved it (3386)

On 01/20/2015 at 6:04am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my 15 year old sister asked which animal rice comes from. She believed every word when my mum told her it's harvested from tiny cows in Asia. FML

#21340484
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27771) - you deserved it (2263)

On 01/19/2015 at 7:45pm - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, a customer tried to order a Zinger burger. I tried to explain that he was at McDonalds and that the Zinger is a KFC burger. He accused me of lying to him and tried to report me to my manager. FML

#21339341
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28890) - you deserved it (1971)

On 01/18/2015 at 2:04am - work - by McSlave - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my dad was fixing my wardrobe and pushed too hard, causing stuff to fall from the top shelves. I saw it happen with my own eyes, but he's dead-set convinced that it was some kind of poltergeist fucking with him, and now he doesn't want me to go in my room. FML

#21338219
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26831) - you deserved it (2088)

On 01/16/2015 at 11:22am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, anticipating another stressful day of work, I went to leave my house with a cluster of thoughts in my mind. It was only when I heard my front door lock behind me, my hand still resting on the handle, that I realised I had forgotten my house keys. FML

#21332094
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24664) - you deserved it (3116)

On 01/06/2015 at 3:57pm - misc - by trixanne (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I spent hours cooking an amazing dinner for my family, who had just gotten home from a trip, so we could spend some time together because I'd started to miss everyone. When they got home, they saw it all laid out and just took plates to their room, without even telling me they were home. FML

#21331513
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27409) - you deserved it (1941)

On 01/05/2015 at 7:15pm - misc - by anon - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I bit into a piece of homegrown lettuce from my garden. Apparently, I'm not the only one to enjoy my produce, because I took a bite out of a small caterpillar. FML

#21330219
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28706) - you deserved it (9354)

On 01/03/2015 at 8:42pm - misc - by Malina - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I had numerous calls from people saying they need a baby sitter, because "they know I wasn't invited anywhere". FML

#21328036
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28528) - you deserved it (2194)

On 12/31/2014 at 7:52pm - misc - by Yeah-It's-Just-Me - Australia (New South Wales)



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