FMLs submitted from New Mexico

Today, while I was waiting at a red light, another car slammed into me. By the time I got out to assess the damage, the other car was empty and there was nobody in sight. Either Moby Dickwad was abducted by aliens mid-crash, or he was behind on his insurance payments. FML

by Boar / 06/24/2012 at 4:51pm / United States (New Mexico) / Miscellaneous

Today, due to an unforeseen pipe-related incident, I had to shave my legs in my backyard fish pond, while a plumber assessed the damage to my war-zone of a bathroom. FML

by KieRendan / 05/25/2012 at 3:59pm / United States (New Mexico) / Miscellaneous

Today, there is an annual solar eclipse. As I was buying the last pair of solar glasses to watch the eclipse with, some jerk snatched them out of my hands and bolted off with them. I now have to make the decision between watching the eclipse and not going blind. FML

by VocalizedBoar / 05/20/2012 at 7:35pm / United States (New Mexico) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was re-watching my wedding video. As I was walking down the aisle, you could hear my grandfather mutter "Here comes the bride, all fat and wide." FML

by Anonymous / 03/10/2012 at 9:20am / United States (New Mexico) / Love

Today, I told my mom I was going to a New Year's party. She told me to be back by midnight. FML

by tooearly / 01/01/2012 at 3:31am / United States (New Mexico) / Miscellaneous

Today, I noticed that my girlfriend has a deeper voice than I do. FML

by Cary / 12/26/2011 at 1:17am / United States (New Mexico) / Love

Today, I rode the public bus. When I got off, I put my hood up only to discover that the old man who sat behind me had used my hood as a trashcan for his gum and used Kleenex. I can't get the gum out of my hair. FML

by Anonymous / 12/11/2011 at 1:42am / United States (New Mexico) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized the closest I've ever been to being hit on was with a car in the school parking lot. Even then, the guy claimed he "didn't notice" me. FML

by Anonymous / 10/14/2011 at 6:40pm / United States (New Mexico) / Love

Today, I was eating noodles. Midway through chewing, I sneezed. The noodles got stuck in my nose. FML

by bob / 09/11/2011 at 11:15am / United States (New Mexico) / Health

Today, I got asked out for the first time in my life. During a prank call. By a complete stranger. FML

by veebenjoo / 06/28/2011 at 1:35am / United States (New Mexico) / Miscellaneous

Today, I put lemon juice in my hair as a cheap and easy way to get highlights. I left it in my hair and I laid out in the backyard to get some sun. The sunshine wasn't the only thing that found me; it seems every bug in the neighborhood is now hiding in my hair. FML

by Anonymous / 06/09/2011 at 4:32pm / United States (New Mexico) / Animals

Today, in order to avoid seeing my ex-girlfriend in class, I changed my schedule for "personal reasons." Apparently she had the same idea and changed her schedule as well. We now have all the same classes together. Before, we had just two. FML

by fatcat117 / 04/21/2011 at 9:53pm / United States (New Mexico) / Love

Today, after dealing with tons of drama and working a 14 hour shift, I took a shower. When I stepped out, a weak spot in the floor gave way. While falling through the floor I grabbed the toilet tank lid, which fell into the tank and broke it. Now my leg hurts and the bathroom's flooded. FML

by TheKingDavis / 02/14/2011 at 2:11am / United States (New Mexico) / Miscellaneous