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FMLs submitted from New Mexico

Today, I found out if a tree falls in the forest and there's nobody around, it does in fact make a sound, and also $5,000 worth of damage to your truck. FML

#21517211
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20138) - you deserved it (1333)

On 01/20/2016 at 12:05am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Mexico)

Today, my friend insisted I wear her brand new hoodie for the day. When I gave it back after a few hours, she said she just needed it stretched and couldn't find someone fatter to stretch it for her. FML

#21508210
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22460) - you deserved it (2018)

On 12/26/2015 at 9:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Mexico)

Today, while in the airport waiting to board, I got the sudden urge to pee, so I ran to the bathroom feeling like my bladder was about to burst. I was so focused on relieving my bladder that I failed to notice the diarrhea covering the toilet seat and the wall behind it until I was sitting in it. FML

#21503817
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23330) - you deserved it (4687)

On 12/14/2015 at 10:30pm - misc - by sarahrachel - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I cleaned up the dog poop from around the back yard. This is how I discovered that my dog's favorite snack appears to be used condoms. FML

#21494104
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20569) - you deserved it (2689)

On 11/18/2015 at 6:40pm - animals - by jlujan00 - United States (New Mexico)

Today, at a family reunion, my grandpa loudly said that I look like "a cheap Vegas whore" because of my heavy purple eye-shadow. I could tell that a few other people agreed. I was too embarrassed to explain that the "eye-shadow" was just dark circles. FML

#21483576
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22907) - you deserved it (2248)

On 10/23/2015 at 9:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I found my diamond earring, which had gone missing. The vet had to surgically remove it from my dog. Despite having made the voyage through the dog's digestive tract, the earring is more expensive than ever. FML

Today, I discovered that my 100-pound Rottweiler is absolutely terrified of (drumroll please) orange peels. Yup. A byproduct of my lunch will turn this hulking monolith with teeth into a whimpering puddle of pee. FML

#21463927
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24141) - you deserved it (2042)

On 09/02/2015 at 10:30pm - animals - by pansypup - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I dropped my phone in the toilet in a public restroom. That would have been bad enough, without the guy in the next stall saying, "Jesus! What the hell did you eat?!" FML

#21443162
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27184) - you deserved it (3284)

On 07/17/2015 at 7:04pm - misc - by AK-47 (man) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I poured my heart out to my girlfriend with a serenade. After I finished, she told me she'd come over to tell me she'd found someone else and wanted to break up. FML

#21395896
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32013) - you deserved it (3245)

On 04/18/2015 at 9:03pm - love - by socialix - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I invited a guy I've been crushing on for ages to my house, and I really wanted to make a good impression. We were sitting in the living room having drinks when my cat came in, dragging a pair of my dirty underwear and dropped them right in front of us. FML

#21394577
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32875) - you deserved it (4276)

On 04/16/2015 at 9:10am - animals - by HM (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I was sitting in the airport, watching the baggage handlers load the plane I was about to get on. They were being really rough with it, one bag came open and all the clothes spilled out onto the tarmac. The clothes looked familiar. They were mine. FML

#21378005
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32183) - you deserved it (2189)

On 03/19/2015 at 8:54pm - misc - by Hm (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I woke up after taking the new sleeping pills I was prescribed for my insomnia. I slept for 12 hours and had 5 missed calls from my boss. FML

#21346205
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28527) - you deserved it (2689)

On 01/29/2015 at 1:32pm - health - by anon - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I went to work and said hi to my boss. He reached towards me. I thought he was trying to give me a hug, so I awkwardly hugged him back. Turned out he was just trying to fix my shirt collar. FML

#21334002
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28681) - you deserved it (4242)

On 01/09/2015 at 4:17pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (New Mexico)



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