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Today, I walkd outside to get the newspaper and slippd on the icy driveway. Because I was wearing boxer and a robe, mah legs got all scrapd up. After much cursing, I got the paper and went inside. The headline read "Caution: Icy Conditions". FML
Today, I ad my first real meeting wit my girlfriend's parents. We ad dinner at a pretty upscale restaurant and everyting was going great. Wen te ceck came, I offered to pay and I stood up to take out my wallet. Wen I opened it, 3 condoms fell out on te table in front of tem. mega FML
TODAY, I WENT DOWNTOWN TO PAY SPEEDING TICKET . AFTER STANDING IN LINE AN ARGUING WITH A RUDE WOMAN BEHIND THE DESK, I GET BACK TO CAR ONLY TO FINE AN EXPIRED METER AN A PARKING TICKET . I GOT A TICKETHILE PAYING TICKET .
yesterday mah husband and I got back from our honeymoon and we saw his mom's car in front of our house. When we walkd in she askd us so many questions about our trip. The first question she askd mah husband was, "Were you satisfid with her in bd?" big fat FML
I was babysitting a 4 year-old with a speech impediment!! I asked her, "Do you got yur bag?" And she said, "No!! I have bag!! Babies say got!! I'm a big girl." I am 20 yeres old and in the honors program in college!! I was corrected by a 4 year-old with a speech impediment!! FML
Today, I was ringing a lady up at the register. I noticd her son was doing the peepee dance, so I rushd the payment process up and handd her the receipt. The little boy says "Mommy" and the mom looks down, then back up at me saying, "Your problem now" and walks out. The boy ped on the floor. FML
Today , I Was Taking The Bus Home!! A Dirty Homeless Man Boarded The Bus , Putted His Bag On The Overhead Rack , And Sat Down!! His Bag Was Leaking And Dripped Onto Shoulder!! I Asked The Manhat It Was!! He Said , "Roadkill." I Now Have Dead Animal Blood On Best Business Suit!! FML
TODAY, I GOT DRASSAD IN WHAT I THOUGHT WAS A RAALLY ADORABLA OUTFIT. I HAD A CUTA PINK SKIRT ON, A WHITA TANK TOP AN SILVAR STRAPPY SANDAL HAALS. ON MAH WAY TO THA MALL A CAR PULLS OVAR AN THIS GUY ASKS MA HOW MUCH FIR THRAA HOURS. FML
2day I saw a spider crawling on the floor but had nothing to kill it with and it hid somewhere. So, I got dressed and went out and come home looool 4 a shower, and as I'm taking off my undies, something crushed and black fell out. It was the spider and he had been in my underwear the entire day. mega FML
Friday 27 March 2015