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FMLs submitted from New Jersey

Today, my girlfriend and I were starting to get hot and heavy in my truck at our favorite park. We start going at it and we were both butt naked when I see a car pull into the lot. Not only is it a cop car, but the first thing the cop asks my girlfriend is "Are you being held against your will?" FML

#4429167
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43935) - you deserved it (13308)

On 08/10/2009 at 3:06pm - misc - by kmf - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was working in the box office. A group came in for tickets but wanted to pay individually. One paid $40 for a $25 ticket. Laughing, I reached for the calculator while saying, "I went to public school, so I can't do math." They didn't laugh. They were all teachers in public schools. FML

#4379266
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14920) - you deserved it (51000)

On 08/08/2009 at 3:02am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, the car I was in got pulled over by the police for making an illegal turn. I was in a cab. And he kept the meter running. FML

#4362342
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48726) - you deserved it (2755)

On 08/07/2009 at 2:29pm - misc - by LT (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I learned a valuable lesson, never leave your "Let It Be" album, which you paid $489 for on Ebay out on your desk. My brother also learned something, old records make for very breakable, one use frisbees. FML

#4293137
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41362) - you deserved it (10959)

On 08/04/2009 at 9:37pm - money - by DiskJockey (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was just about to get in the shower, when I heard a loud crunch. I thought to myself, boy the neighbours next door must be doing some heavy construction. Two seconds after that thought, my brother knocked on the door to inform me that the neighbours tree had just fallen on my car. FML

#4251731
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48192) - you deserved it (2293)

On 08/03/2009 at 8:43am - misc - by Jaybird1587 - United States (New Jersey)

Today, as my son carried the cage with live food for his pet lizards up the stairs, I heard the sound of 2,500 baby crickets escaping. FML

#4239314
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49396) - you deserved it (6205)

On 08/02/2009 at 9:29pm - animals - by cricketeer (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I planned a surprise birthday party for my boyfriend. I invited all his friend and made all his favorite food. He was running very late, so I called to ask what was taking so long. His response? He said he was at his house, with the very friends I was standing next to. FML

#4215163
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62670) - you deserved it (3805)

On 08/01/2009 at 9:29pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my mom asked me if I was crying because my boyfriend cheated on me with my best friend. That wasn't why I was crying. My mom knows things before I do. FML

#4147404
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51736) - you deserved it (2827)

On 07/29/2009 at 11:20pm - love - by screwed (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I took the bus to Boston. My bike is in Boston. My bike lock is in Boston. The key is in New York. FML

#4035299
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14109) - you deserved it (33841)

On 07/25/2009 at 6:17pm - misc - by zinka - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I opened some small cute birthday gifts at my boyfriend's house. As we left to go out, he slipped me a Tiffany box and said he wanted me to open it in private. Flushed and excited, I open it to find a ziploc filled with hair. It was his mustache I had been begging him to shave for months. FML

#3997843
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37201) - you deserved it (19598)

On 07/24/2009 at 2:31am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I had an important powerpoint presentation for ALL the big execs at work. It seems that during my lunch break, my boyfriend IMed me on my mac saying "Feeling so horny right now, come home for a quicky like last week?" I didn't see it until the presentation. So did the executives. FML

#3899297
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36755) - you deserved it (9688)

On 07/20/2009 at 3:07am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, during some previews before the new Harry Potter movie, a guy stood up and led the audience in an enthusiastic and rather successful chant "H-A-R-R-Y!". Minutes later when I attempted to do the same thing, I was pelted with half-full bags of popcorn, freezing sodas, and booing. FML

#3897679
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11619) - you deserved it (80220)

On 07/20/2009 at 1:54am - misc - by Chelsea (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, after not seeing my boyfriend for 9 months, he came to meet me at the airport. I was so excited when I first saw him that I broke into a sprint to greet him. Apparently, running through the airport looks suspicious, because a security guard tackled me. Now I have a broken nose. FML

#3878343
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51592) - you deserved it (6836)

On 07/19/2009 at 9:49am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)



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