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FMLs submitted from New Jersey

Today, during some previews before the new Harry Potter movie, a guy stood up and led the audience in an enthusiastic and rather successful chant "H-A-R-R-Y!". Minutes later when I attempted to do the same thing, I was pelted with half-full bags of popcorn, freezing sodas, and booing. FML

#3897679
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11606) - you deserved it (80137)

On 07/20/2009 at 1:54am - misc - by Chelsea (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, after not seeing my boyfriend for 9 months, he came to meet me at the airport. I was so excited when I first saw him that I broke into a sprint to greet him. Apparently, running through the airport looks suspicious, because a security guard tackled me. Now I have a broken nose. FML

#3878343
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51541) - you deserved it (6835)

On 07/19/2009 at 9:49am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I used a public bathroom. I hung my purse up on the hook on the door. Two minutes later, a hand reaches over the door and steals my purse. I got robbed while taking a crap. FML

#3862614
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49507) - you deserved it (7556)

On 07/18/2009 at 6:32pm - misc - by xobeachbabi428ox - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I just found out that my current boyfriend and my ex-boyfriend are rooming together at college. Visits are going to be extremely awkward. FML

#3846556
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52293) - you deserved it (6343)

On 07/18/2009 at 12:21am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my boyfriend and I exchanged promise rings. I promised that I would stay committed to him and that he was the only one for me. He promised that he would stop seeing other woman behind my back. He wasn't kidding. FML

#3833567
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49879) - you deserved it (4796)

On 07/17/2009 at 3:24pm - love - by Shocked (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I thought it was a good idea to go number two while smoking a "cigarette". My ash tray was over by the sink so I decided to just ash in the toilet. While ashing between my legs, I sneezed and now I have a extremely uncomfortable burn on my man member. Smoking is bad. FML

#3821134
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7803) - you deserved it (82638)

On 07/17/2009 at 1:11am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my friend thought it would be funny to put a pretzel on my forehead while I was sleeping on the beach. I now have a pretzel-shaped tan line in the middle of my head. FML

#3816010
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45557) - you deserved it (9225)

On 07/16/2009 at 10:28pm - misc - by joe1234 (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I had a big party that left my house really messy. I spent hours cleaning the house until it was spotless. When my parents got home, my dad said "Did you have fun at the party?" and I said, "How'd you know?" and he replied "You hate cleaning and the house was filthy when we left". FML

#3777145
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11162) - you deserved it (49018)

On 07/15/2009 at 3:44pm - misc - by far23 (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was at a party at the house of the guy I really like. We were talking when he pulled me into his room. I was excited he was finally taking our friendship to the next level, until he handed me a stick of deodorant, saying "I didn't wanna tell you in the hallway, but you really need this." FML

#3698192
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40775) - you deserved it (19679)

On 07/12/2009 at 8:41pm - love - by Dee (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I had to go through the embarrassment and pain of telling my parents I was pregnant. I took the test and it came out positive and I was freaking out. I got grounded for the rest of the year and they're really disappointed in me. Five minutes ago, I got my period. FML

#3676962
371 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52730) - you deserved it (27373)

On 07/11/2009 at 9:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was trying to clean the belt of my register at work at a grocery store. I noticed two strips of rubber stuck in the corner of the belt, and after pulling on them periodically all morning one finally came loose. It was a foot. I had been pulling at a dead rat trapped in the belt. FML

#3675667
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46087) - you deserved it (2920)

On 07/11/2009 at 8:33pm - work - by cashier (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my friend and I decided to get bikini waxes. Afterwards, the women who did the waxing told my friend it was $30 for her wax. Then, in front of the whole salon, the women points at me and says, "You! You so hairy- $35!". FML

#3669971
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57772) - you deserved it (8748)

On 07/11/2009 at 4:11pm - health - by waxinghorror (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I worked up the courage to ask my crush out for coffee after work. She agreed and I confidently said "Alright, it's a date!" She replied, "Haha a date with you? I'm just going for the free coffee!" FML

#3650677
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52319) - you deserved it (3986)

On 07/10/2009 at 9:08pm - love - by negromancer - United States (New Jersey)



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