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FMLs submitted from New Jersey

Today, I braved the winter weather conditions to get to a clinic for a prescription anti-diarrhea medication. When I arrived to find it closed, I turned around to walk to my car where I slipped on the ice. The impact made me simultaneously bruise my elbow and shit myself. FML

#14660867
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29119) - you deserved it (2898)

On 01/21/2011 at 10:13am - health - by chelseaface (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was told by my girlfriend that in the thralls of my drunken haze last night, I tried to French-kiss her mom. FML

#14590525
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7908) - you deserved it (31370)

On 01/15/2011 at 3:21pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, was my boyfriends last night visiting my family. My dog decided to go through the trash, then ran up to my dad with one of our used condoms caught on her teeth. My parents didn't even know we were sleeping in the same room. They know a lot more now. FML

#14463925
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24003) - you deserved it (12165)

On 01/04/2011 at 4:09pm - intimacy - by ash (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my wife and I received confirmation that she has postpartum depression. When sharing this with the family, my mother exclaimed "I told you she was a psycho!" Now my wife is crying louder and more often than our newborn. Thanks, mom. FML

#14383420
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31271) - you deserved it (2762)

On 12/29/2010 at 3:03pm - health - by ppd_sucks (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I realized that every day without fail, the muffins I've been making and giving to my husband for work have been hitting speeding cars' windshields. FML

#14344893
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18600) - you deserved it (3456)

On 12/26/2010 at 10:47am - misc - by muffdriver (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me via facebook. I don't even have a facebook. My friends had to tell me. FML

#14160726
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32526) - you deserved it (2872)

On 12/11/2010 at 12:05am - love - by itsover (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I had to admit to my parents that the reason I don't want a sixteenth birthday party isn't because I'm being spoiled and I expected my parents to take me on a lavish vacation, but because I don't have any friends to invite. FML

#13978061
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26954) - you deserved it (3916)

On 11/25/2010 at 7:08pm - misc - by sadstorylifee (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, while working as a carhop at Sonic, my roller skates ran over some gravel and I fell, causing me to drop a tray of food. I found out later that one of the customers had deliberately done that to see if I would trip. FML

#13925294
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26808) - you deserved it (2175)

On 11/21/2010 at 1:44pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, the girl that I have been trying to get with for over a year told me she was drunk and just gave her first blowjob to some guy. FML

#13822299
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25386) - you deserved it (3818)

On 11/13/2010 at 12:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was feeling really sick when I was with my boyfriend at the park. When we were walking, I got really dizzy and collapsed. My boyfriend didn't catch me. His mom took me to the hospital. While I was being poked with needles, he was at home playing COD. FML

#13733165
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27399) - you deserved it (4129)

On 11/06/2010 at 12:04am - health - by jamiedevin (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was playing my bass clarinet around the house. I asked my dad if he would be at my concert on December 16th. His response was, "No, I'm working that day." My dad is a plumber, and gets called to work completely at random; he has no schedule. FML

#13693546
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17900) - you deserved it (2219)

On 11/02/2010 at 9:49pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, while cleaning out my garage, I found a pregnant spider. I couldn't step on the spider without releasing the baby spiders, so I went inside to get a glass jar to trap it. While trying to relocate the spider, I accidentally stepped on it. I now have a bunch of baby spiders roaming around. FML

#13657606
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22924) - you deserved it (6196)

On 10/31/2010 at 12:25am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, at school I pulled my bicep muscle arm wrestling. I lost. He was 14. I'm the 23 year old security guard. FML

#13657321
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18783) - you deserved it (8195)

On 10/31/2010 at 12:06am - work - by Disappointed - United States (New Jersey)



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