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FMLs submitted from New Jersey

Today, my tonsils swelled to roughly the size of golf balls. My mom refuses to take me to the hospital because she's convinced I got it from kissing someone, and until I "fess up", she's not budging. FML

#17109448
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33174) - you deserved it (2613)

On 07/14/2011 at 4:21pm - health - by Eden - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my dad thought it would be OK to make sound effects for everything he did, in a public park, with me tagging along behind. FML

#17078308
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20660) - you deserved it (2973)

On 07/12/2011 at 8:19am - kids - by SaggyBoy135 - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I woke up to find that not only did the toothpaste I put on my pimple make it more noticable, but it made it worse. FML

#16922820
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8893) - you deserved it (21766)

On 06/30/2011 at 1:30pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I saw a guy with a "free hugs" poster. Since nobody else was hugging him, I decided to. He had a boner. FML

#16886368
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20134) - you deserved it (33434)

On 06/27/2011 at 7:34pm - intimacy - by nomorefreehugs - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I sprained my knee while going down on one knee to propose to my girlfriend. She laughed as I rolled in pain. I still haven't gotten an answer. FML

#16858982
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37397) - you deserved it (4092)

On 06/26/2011 at 12:29am - love - by smoothmove - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I walked around for hours with a post-it on my back reading "I JUST HAD SEX!" My boyfriend stuck it on me. FML

#16846296
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34264) - you deserved it (7405)

On 06/25/2011 at 4:39am - intimacy - by suxx - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my school year book awarded "cutest couple" to my boyfriend and I. We broke up yesterday. FML

#16842946
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38064) - you deserved it (4687)

On 06/25/2011 at 12:31am - love - by yearbook369 (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, as I was sleeping I heard something bang on my door. I walked on my balcony only to find my boyfriend throwing rocks trying to wake me. He didn't see me and threw a rock right into my eye. FML

#16589180
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32782) - you deserved it (4518)

On 06/10/2011 at 12:59am - love - by ouchmyeye (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I saw a woman run down my street screaming, "Fuck you cops! I can drive under the influence if I want to!" It took me a second to realize it was my mother. FML

#16474078
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40115) - you deserved it (2868)

On 06/02/2011 at 9:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, a girl I've been crushing on for over a year finally gave me her number. I lost the note at home, but found it a few hours later. I excitedly called, only to find she'd written down the number for the local Pizza Hut. FML

#16376796
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28584) - you deserved it (3033)

On 05/27/2011 at 7:30pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, at my hairdressing job, my first client of the day came in for a cut. Her hair smelled awful, and when I asked her why, she informed me that she'd gotten trashed with some friends the night before, and one of them had puked in her hair. She came to me to get it cleaned out. FML

#16271295
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30825) - you deserved it (3074)

On 05/20/2011 at 7:29pm - work - by ewwgross - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I learned the hard way that an ice cube is capable of ripping the skin off your bottom lip. FML

#16173128
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18151) - you deserved it (9733)

On 05/14/2011 at 3:06pm - health - by bloodyLIP - United States (New Jersey)

Today, after weeks of money slowly disappearing from the stash in my bedroom, I confronted my son about it. I'm not sure which is worse: that my son is a thief or that he actually blamed his father for it. We've been divorced and haven't spoken for eight years. FML

#16091812
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27020) - you deserved it (3750)

On 05/08/2011 at 2:25pm - kids - by jill (woman) - United States (New Jersey)



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