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FMLs submitted from New Hampshire

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me with a voice card. It said "Marry me Amber?" I'm not Amber. That's his ex. FML

Today, I fed my cats their usual dinner of canned cat food. Without thinking, I put the spoon I had used for their food into my mouth so I could use both hands to rinse the can before recycling it. FML

#14526378
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8888) - you deserved it (24413)

On 01/09/2011 at 10:18pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house and badly needed to pee. Just as I was about to say I had to go to the bathroom, my boyfriend suddenly put his hands around my stomach and picked me up. He hit just the right spot, causing me to empty my bladder then and there. FML

#14409585
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25790) - you deserved it (3089)

On 12/31/2010 at 2:03pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, my mother told me to 'quit having a pity party'. I was just diagnosed with depression. I've lost my boyfriend, my job, my academic standing, and I just got rejected from every graduate school I applied for. And my mother thinks I'm a cry baby. Great. FML

#14394267
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34251) - you deserved it (7199)

On 12/30/2010 at 10:06am - health - by depressednupset (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I was taking the bus back to my university campus, having left work early feeling sick. While on the bus I started retching. I managed to hold it in for a while, but as I stood up to get off the bus, I started puking through my mouth and nose. This was in front of twenty other passengers. FML

#14153644
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22956) - you deserved it (2350)

On 12/10/2010 at 12:21pm - health - by pukathlon - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I finally felt the effects of a laxative that I took last night. This morning, when I was in the dentist's chair. FML

#13960658
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17477) - you deserved it (4747)

On 11/24/2010 at 10:40am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I received an overdue bill for my now nonexistent car that caught fire in July. FML

#13713270
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20586) - you deserved it (2833)

On 11/04/2010 at 10:42am - money - by Lisa - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I went on a first date to the movies. During the flick, I choked on a piece of popcorn. I took a gulp of soda and that got stuck as well. I finally got my breath back and let out the loudest burp I ever have. He looked at me and said "Does this mean I can fart now?" FML

#13220186
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14526) - you deserved it (24074)

On 09/27/2010 at 7:45am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I decided to try something new and sign up for an online dating service, since I can't meet a decent guy in person. The first guy I talked to told me he used to be in a mental hospital for obsessing over a girl, then told me he would be dreaming of me that night. FML

#12807084
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28797) - you deserved it (7226)

On 08/29/2010 at 3:45pm - love - by CreepedOut (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, there was a fire drill at my school. I was in the bathroom taking a dump, and if that wasn't bad enough, I got suspended for two days for 'improper procedure during a fire drill'. I didn't know you could get suspended for taking a dump. FML

#12424565
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33362) - you deserved it (3666)

On 08/10/2010 at 1:19am - misc - by dammit (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I've been dieting and working out trying to work towards some solid abs because I know my girlfriend digs that stuff. I've been miserable trying to achieve this goal, plus to make things even better while kissing today she grabbed my stomach and said "I just love your abs of... flab." FML

#10899108
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24260) - you deserved it (3581)

On 06/01/2010 at 12:35am - love - by AbFlab (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, while I was driving, I saw my driving instructor from high school walking on the sidewalk. As I waved to him, I rear-ended the car in front of me. Guess I really showed him how much I learned from him. FML

#10581803
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6259) - you deserved it (24617)

On 05/17/2010 at 12:10am - misc - by jcheer113 - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I had to sell my only means of transportation, my 92 Chrysler Lebaron to a junking company because the transmission blew. When the guy finally got there, I had to shovel out the 5 feet of snow around my car, help him push it, and help him hook it up. Then his dog bit me. I only got $100. FML

#8791575
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19603) - you deserved it (2161)

On 03/03/2010 at 1:06am - animals - by MetalAtlas (man) - United States (New Hampshire)



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