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FMLs submitted from New Hampshire

Today, my dad took my car keys off my keychain and hid them from me. His reasoning was, "I don't want you to be driving during the winter." Guess who has to walk ten miles a day to work, through the New England snow. FML

#21512737
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21903) - you deserved it (1512)

On 01/08/2016 at 1:06am - misc - by tiredofbullshit - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I called my boss to ask if my paycheck had been deposited yet. He said no, that my grandmother came in to work and picked it up. Confused, I called her. She is holding it ransom until I start calling home every day. I do, but she gets so drunk, she doesn't remember. FML

#21493320
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26606) - you deserved it (1808)

On 11/16/2015 at 7:21pm - misc - by kitkat1740 (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I finally overcame depression-induced writer's block. I was typing at a good speed and before I knew it had over a thousand words that I was reasonably proud of. Then I woke up. FML

Today, I fractured my shinbone after slipping on a leaf. FML

#21491133
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21404) - you deserved it (2126)

On 11/11/2015 at 6:03am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, as I rung up a customer's groceries, he gave me a pitying look and said I'd have a "real job" if I'd only studied harder. FML

#21486231
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20601) - you deserved it (2010)

On 10/30/2015 at 5:53pm - work - by prick (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I messaged the guy I've been seeing for 4 months, referring to him as my boyfriend. His response? "I didn't realize you had a boyfriend." FML

#21478738
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21907) - you deserved it (3953)

On 10/11/2015 at 8:27pm - love - by althornton2462 - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I had yet another debilitating migraine that kept me awake. In the middle of the night, I heard an owl hooting. Thinking it was cool, I moved closer to the open window to hear better. After a few minutes, I realized it was actually my new neighbor having loud sex. My aunt moved in next door. FML

#21463837
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26097) - you deserved it (2102)

On 09/02/2015 at 5:52pm - intimacy - by Hooty (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I left my phone outside on the grass while I went inside to get a drink. I didn't expect my dad to run over it with the lawn mower. FML

#21463365
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13143) - you deserved it (26606)

On 09/01/2015 at 12:46pm - misc - by RiceCrispyTreats - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I woke up from the most sensual dream I've had in months. Unfortunately, despite it being better than any action I've had in a long time, the dream was about me fucking a donut. FML

#21457543
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24333) - you deserved it (3732)

On 08/18/2015 at 9:26am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I had to bail my ex-husband out of jail. He didn't want his new wife to get mad at him. FML

#21447695
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20893) - you deserved it (13543)

On 07/26/2015 at 7:55pm - misc - by blondebarbie271 - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, it's got to the point where my parents have to force me to plan social outings. FML

#21442703
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22495) - you deserved it (5345)

On 07/16/2015 at 6:47pm - misc - by TheDarth (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I accidentally texted the girl I like, "Oh god, I just choked on a boner." I meant bone. FML

#21442630
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25354) - you deserved it (4686)

On 07/16/2015 at 3:22pm - misc - by Boneo and Juliet - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I was driving and someone was following me across the city and wouldn't let up, so I drove past my house, thinking it was a stalker. Eventually I lost them on the highway. It wasn't until I'd gotten back home that I remembered that my 'stalker' was a coworker I'd invited over for lunch. FML

#21390746
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15789) - you deserved it (39609)

On 04/09/2015 at 4:11pm - work - by Distracted (man) - United States (New Hampshire)



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