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FMLs submitted from Nevada

Today, my fiancé and I met his mother for lunch to discuss wedding plans. When we got there, I went to the bathroom to wash my hands. I heard a woman talking on her cell phone in the stall about her son's "disgusting, slutty girlfriend." The toilet flushed and my future mother-in-law walked out. FML

#5940105
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40014) - you deserved it (3034)

On 10/22/2009 at 1:53am - love - by uneek_3225 (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend because he has anger issues. Tonight, my tires were slashed. FML

#5895031
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40533) - you deserved it (6362)

On 10/19/2009 at 11:54am - love - by kierstin (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I had a meeting with the CEO about a promising job with good pay and benefits. Upon meeting, we immediately recognized each other. He was someone I used to make fun of in school all the time. He responded by refusing to interview me and had security throw me out by force. Karma bites. FML

#5527789
262 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8593) - you deserved it (105191)

On 09/28/2009 at 2:31pm - work - by SucksToBeMe (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I met my boyfriend's mother for the first time. She greeted us holding a baby, and I told her how cute her son was. She told me that it was her grandson. Turns out my boyfriend is the father. We're 16. FML

#5106151
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52987) - you deserved it (3949)

On 09/07/2009 at 2:22pm - misc - by Notyourstepmom - United States (Nevada)

Today, an extremely attractive woman from FedEx came to deliver my new phone. I was wearing athletic shorts and had an erection. She looked down and laughed. FML

#4680199
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38584) - you deserved it (17953)

On 08/20/2009 at 11:55am - intimacy - by littleguy (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, my sister and I were reading the new FML posts. I sat close to the fan, and after a few minutes, I leaned against it for support. It immediatly sucked up my hair and started violently twisting it. My sister continued to read and shouted at me because my cries for help are distracting. FML

#4550726
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48061) - you deserved it (13271)

On 08/15/2009 at 3:21pm - health - by baldintheback (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, my immature dad said I am a girl not a woman, so my witty response was ''I have a period, I'm pretty sure that makes me a woman.'' My dad stole my phone and sent a text to everyone in my address book, quoting me. Including the guy I like. FML

#4068600
251 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47708) - you deserved it (15489)

On 07/27/2009 at 12:10am - misc - by bookworm94 (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I thought it would be sexy to cook dinner in lingerie. Today, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to scare me while I was cooking. I jumped and burned my boobs with boiling cooking oil. FML

#3730184
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49436) - you deserved it (14407)

On 07/13/2009 at 10:25pm - intimacy - by Ouch (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was informed from a fellow employee at a bar that he finally "hit" the boss' wife. I work for my parents. FML

#3168193
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66731) - you deserved it (2635)

On 06/24/2009 at 5:59am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was walking around the park with my wife. Out of nowhere, a little girl on a bicycle slammed in to me, knocking me to the ground. As I rolled over, sure that my ankle was broken, her father ran over to me. He screamed, "Watch where you're going, douchebag!" FML

#3107443
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61947) - you deserved it (3017)

On 06/22/2009 at 12:11am - kids - by Al (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I went to the store to buy some groceries. While I was at the store, an employee came up to me and said, "You're beautiful!" When I came home I told my husband what had just happened. My husband then asked, "What was wrong with him?" FML

#2999612
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50492) - you deserved it (5054)

On 06/18/2009 at 3:40pm - love - by Ann (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, in an effort to seduce my husband, I laid in bed caressing myself. He walked in, looked at me, and said, "Is the ground beef in the freezer still good?" When I answered yes, he turned and walked out of the room. FML

#2693360
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52278) - you deserved it (6073)

On 06/07/2009 at 3:14pm - intimacy - by szinna (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I realized what my mom has been calling me for 20 years. She always calls me her "little fehler." With her being from Germany, I always thought it was a cute little nickname. Apparently, she's been calling me her "little mistake." FML

#1837844
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (93584) - you deserved it (5117)

On 05/11/2009 at 5:09am - misc - by mistake (man) - United States (Nevada)



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